Been working for about 4 weeks now. Nonstop.
It's really draining.
So I thought I would write a little something to see if I still had it in me to write something to test if I still had it in me to write something funny.
*High Five*!
Guess not.
So with a bit of this money I've decided to start playing World of Warcraft...
And I also notice that many of you stopped reading right there.
And now you think I'm going to say "No! It's not like you think!"
But yes, it is as you think. I am playing World of Warcraft.
S0 li3k i th1nk i am soooooo000oooo kool.
Anyways if anyone still reads this, I will be surprised. So surprised that I'll be surprised.
My brain is absolutely exhausted.
Bye.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Studying is EPIC.
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comments
So I've spent the past 3 days studying physics.
I've been studying Electromagnetism and Vectors.
In fact, I've
Drawn enough Free Body Diagrams to traverse the world's great seas.
-Imagine being Neo in the Matrix but instead of seeing everything in binary, you see everything in Free Body Diagrams!
Conquered alphas, betas, and gammas as Alexander the Great did the world.
-It would make me king of Greek letters.
Moved tiny electrons as if I were a slave building the Egyptian Pyramids.
-I wish I had some pulleys.
Punched so many numbers on my calculator it would make Muhammad Ali proud.
-*Cue Eye of the Tiger as you envision someone punching numbers on a Casio calculator in rapid succession*
Used so many pieces of pencil graphite that if I just scrunched up all the Carbon, I could probably have a pretty big diamond by now.
-Imagine just scribbling all over a paper, scrunching it up and POW, you get a diamond. Alchemy at its greatest.
Exhausted so much paper that I'm expecting treehuggers to bang on my door any minute.
-Solution: Switch to composite paper.
Practiced my flips (of book pages) so much that I could be an Olympic gymnast.
-Best way to just "learn by the books".
Drank so much energy that I could have formed a black hole in my stomach.
-I think black holes in your stomach are called ulcers...
Wasted so much time on DotA.
-Waste.
I've been studying Electromagnetism and Vectors.
In fact, I've
Drawn enough Free Body Diagrams to traverse the world's great seas.
-Imagine being Neo in the Matrix but instead of seeing everything in binary, you see everything in Free Body Diagrams!
Conquered alphas, betas, and gammas as Alexander the Great did the world.
-It would make me king of Greek letters.
Moved tiny electrons as if I were a slave building the Egyptian Pyramids.
-I wish I had some pulleys.
Punched so many numbers on my calculator it would make Muhammad Ali proud.
-*Cue Eye of the Tiger as you envision someone punching numbers on a Casio calculator in rapid succession*
Used so many pieces of pencil graphite that if I just scrunched up all the Carbon, I could probably have a pretty big diamond by now.
-Imagine just scribbling all over a paper, scrunching it up and POW, you get a diamond. Alchemy at its greatest.
Exhausted so much paper that I'm expecting treehuggers to bang on my door any minute.
-Solution: Switch to composite paper.
Practiced my flips (of book pages) so much that I could be an Olympic gymnast.
-Best way to just "learn by the books".
Drank so much energy that I could have formed a black hole in my stomach.
-I think black holes in your stomach are called ulcers...
Wasted so much time on DotA.
-Waste.
Posted by
Dawn
Monday, March 2, 2009
Kittens.
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comments
So I saw this as I was browsing and thought I should share.
It's clearly the truth. Kittens are all-powerful in this world.
It's clearly the truth. Kittens are all-powerful in this world.
Posted by
Dawn
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Newton's Laws Are Everywhere!!
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Although originally applied to Physics, I believe that Newton's laws are applicable in all situations.
I would first like to provide some reasoning behind this seem-to-brash assumption.
First of all, Newton was an overall genius. His cranial matter, the mass-of-amazing-intellect-and-potential-to-do-awesome-things, aka brain for you commoners, was so dense, it generated a gravitational field that was so strong, it pulled an apple off a tree.
Second of all, Newton has made claims that back up his incredible genius. Quoted from his Wikipedia page :
"Newton described universal gravitation and the three laws of motion, laying the groundwork for classical mechanics, which dominated the scientific view of the physical Universe for the next three centuries and is the basis for modern engineering."
That description is a bit convoluted though because just about everybody can input information into Wikipedia, so let me re-analyze and untangle that mess of words for you in Layman's terms.
Newton can describe gravity of the universe in THREE laws. As everyone knows, the number 3 is revered as a magical number. Therefore, Newton is a magician.
Next, he laid the groundwork for classical mechanics. Who else can lay down ground? That's right, only God can. The soil you're standing on? Newton did it. Although not quite as efficient as God who created the ground in 1 day, Newton can create it in 3.
Another keyword from that segment is the word "classical". What's classical? Mozart is classical. This is to say, Newton was so amazing, he made Mozart.
Furthermore, Newton DOMINATED the scientific VIEW of the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE for the next THREE centuries and is the BASIS of modern engineering.
Now each of those keywords definitely means something. What does it mean when something DOMINATES? It means they don't leave any room for any others.
What does it mean to DOMINATE the VIEW? It means only he can see the view.
And then to DOMINATE the VIEW of the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE. Means Newton's head was so fat full of cranial matter, that he blocked out the sun, the neighboring solar system's sun, the galaxy's sun, and finally the universe's sun. That's pretty fat.
Also, realize that the number three has come up again? Newton is the basis of 3 centuries. It means if you take the determinant of 3-Dimensional space of all the space-time of those centuries, it doesn't equal zero. It's linearly independent. How many distinct things can occur and exist in 3 centuries of space-time? A lot. Unfortunately Newton's reign ended when we realized there was more D's in space...apparently 4 D's and even up to...11? Which I don't quite understand unless someone's been using really fine print on me, because I've never seen a "D" in space. It's always been s-p-a-c-e...Whatever.
Finally, Newton's name is just amazing. Break it up and you get all kinds of cool combos. Like...New Ton. Or Newt On. On Newt? Add in his first name, Isaac, and you make anagrams like, Ocean Saw Tin. HOW DOES AN OCEAN SEE ONE OF THE ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE? I don't know, but Newton made it happen. If you use his FULL name, Sir Isaac Newton, you get stuff like...Await Corniness. He's so amazing he ALREADY KNOWS what he could say could be corny. This guy can STILL tell the future even though he's sleeping in his grave for 3 centuries. Albeit he knows that his sense of humor sucks though.
So, the question comes down to, is MY claim false? Of course, I could never be as fully true as Newton, but I will try. However, I will do my best to convince you that Newton's Laws are everywhere.
First, let's start with some elementary subjects. For reference, Newton's three laws are:
First Law: An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force.
Second Law: An applied force on an object equals its rate of change of momentum and the time. More commonly seen, if mass is held constant, as force = mass x acceleration.
Third Law: For every force there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Since they are already given, these will be the laws that stand for Physics.
Now analyze the following:
I would first like to provide some reasoning behind this seem-to-brash assumption.
First of all, Newton was an overall genius. His cranial matter, the mass-of-amazing-intellect-and-potential-to-do-awesome-things, aka brain for you commoners, was so dense, it generated a gravitational field that was so strong, it pulled an apple off a tree.
Second of all, Newton has made claims that back up his incredible genius. Quoted from his Wikipedia page :
"Newton described universal gravitation and the three laws of motion, laying the groundwork for classical mechanics, which dominated the scientific view of the physical Universe for the next three centuries and is the basis for modern engineering."
That description is a bit convoluted though because just about everybody can input information into Wikipedia, so let me re-analyze and untangle that mess of words for you in Layman's terms.
Newton can describe gravity of the universe in THREE laws. As everyone knows, the number 3 is revered as a magical number. Therefore, Newton is a magician.
Next, he laid the groundwork for classical mechanics. Who else can lay down ground? That's right, only God can. The soil you're standing on? Newton did it. Although not quite as efficient as God who created the ground in 1 day, Newton can create it in 3.
Another keyword from that segment is the word "classical". What's classical? Mozart is classical. This is to say, Newton was so amazing, he made Mozart.
Furthermore, Newton DOMINATED the scientific VIEW of the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE for the next THREE centuries and is the BASIS of modern engineering.
Now each of those keywords definitely means something. What does it mean when something DOMINATES? It means they don't leave any room for any others.
What does it mean to DOMINATE the VIEW? It means only he can see the view.
And then to DOMINATE the VIEW of the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE. Means Newton's head was so fat full of cranial matter, that he blocked out the sun, the neighboring solar system's sun, the galaxy's sun, and finally the universe's sun. That's pretty fat.
Also, realize that the number three has come up again? Newton is the basis of 3 centuries. It means if you take the determinant of 3-Dimensional space of all the space-time of those centuries, it doesn't equal zero. It's linearly independent. How many distinct things can occur and exist in 3 centuries of space-time? A lot. Unfortunately Newton's reign ended when we realized there was more D's in space...apparently 4 D's and even up to...11? Which I don't quite understand unless someone's been using really fine print on me, because I've never seen a "D" in space. It's always been s-p-a-c-e...Whatever.
Finally, Newton's name is just amazing. Break it up and you get all kinds of cool combos. Like...New Ton. Or Newt On. On Newt? Add in his first name, Isaac, and you make anagrams like, Ocean Saw Tin. HOW DOES AN OCEAN SEE ONE OF THE ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE? I don't know, but Newton made it happen. If you use his FULL name, Sir Isaac Newton, you get stuff like...Await Corniness. He's so amazing he ALREADY KNOWS what he could say could be corny. This guy can STILL tell the future even though he's sleeping in his grave for 3 centuries. Albeit he knows that his sense of humor sucks though.
So, the question comes down to, is MY claim false? Of course, I could never be as fully true as Newton, but I will try. However, I will do my best to convince you that Newton's Laws are everywhere.
First, let's start with some elementary subjects. For reference, Newton's three laws are:
First Law: An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force.
Second Law: An applied force on an object equals its rate of change of momentum and the time. More commonly seen, if mass is held constant, as force = mass x acceleration.
Third Law: For every force there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Since they are already given, these will be the laws that stand for Physics.
Now analyze the following:
Math
First law: Any number tends to stay as that number unless you perform a mathematical operation on it.
Second law: A mathematical operation is equal to the rate of change of your mind versus how much knowledge you take in and how smart you really are. Simply put, too much math practice will make your head explode.
Third law: Every mathematical operation has an equal and opposite operation. Like how you can undo addition with subtraction, multiplication with division, etc. You can even undo an integral with a derivative.
Second law: A mathematical operation is equal to the rate of change of your mind versus how much knowledge you take in and how smart you really are. Simply put, too much math practice will make your head explode.
Third law: Every mathematical operation has an equal and opposite operation. Like how you can undo addition with subtraction, multiplication with division, etc. You can even undo an integral with a derivative.
English
First law: Any sentence, phrase, or word, tends to retain it's meaning unless you add in random other stuff...like grammar...or more letters.
Second law: Random other stuff is equal to the rate of change of your frustration and your sugar level. That's how most good literature is written anyways.
Third law: Every random thing has an equal an opposite random other thing. Good literature always has those rabid fans, plus those people that would hang themselves to avoid reading it.
ENGLISH IS BRILLIANT.
Second law: Random other stuff is equal to the rate of change of your frustration and your sugar level. That's how most good literature is written anyways.
Third law: Every random thing has an equal an opposite random other thing. Good literature always has those rabid fans, plus those people that would hang themselves to avoid reading it.
ENGLISH IS BRILLIANT.
Biology
First law: Every thick biology textbook tends to get thicker after every edition, while every thin biology textbook tends to not be used, unless acted on by an external author or student.
Second law: Students and authors in biology is equal to the rate of change of how many times people can argue "NO, CHICKEN CAME FIRST" vs "NUH UH, EGG." and idiocy. Seriously, who gets worked up over an argument over chickens and eggs. Eat them both, sheesh. Cook them together. Now if you ask whether the appetizer or the chicken-egg dinner came first, that's a different story.
Third law: For every biology lesson, there is another biology lesson happening somewhere else that is teaching the exactly opposite thing.
Second law: Students and authors in biology is equal to the rate of change of how many times people can argue "NO, CHICKEN CAME FIRST" vs "NUH UH, EGG." and idiocy. Seriously, who gets worked up over an argument over chickens and eggs. Eat them both, sheesh. Cook them together. Now if you ask whether the appetizer or the chicken-egg dinner came first, that's a different story.
Third law: For every biology lesson, there is another biology lesson happening somewhere else that is teaching the exactly opposite thing.
Chemistry
First law: Every atom, molecule, and formula, stays that way unless you make something go BOOM!
Second law: Stuff going BOOM! is equal to what chemicals are used and your desires as a pyromaniac.
Third law: For everything that goes BOOM! there is something that goes...MOOB? (Not sure about this one. Is a question mark the opposite of an exclamation mark?)
This concludes the basic subjects of knowledge, but there has to be MORE applications, right? Well yeah, there is. Redundant question, I got you.
Second law: Stuff going BOOM! is equal to what chemicals are used and your desires as a pyromaniac.
Third law: For everything that goes BOOM! there is something that goes...MOOB? (Not sure about this one. Is a question mark the opposite of an exclamation mark?)
This concludes the basic subjects of knowledge, but there has to be MORE applications, right? Well yeah, there is. Redundant question, I got you.
Love (Oh geez this is gonna get messy)
First law: A person not in love tends to stay not in love, and a person in love tends to stay in love, unless complicated stuff happens. (That's why there's the "It's Complicated" option on relationships for Facebook. Also the one thing they got right.)
Second law: Complicated stuff is equal to more complicated stuff and how well you deal with the successive complications.
Third law: Every complicated thing has an equally forceful slap or argument associated with it.
Second law: Complicated stuff is equal to more complicated stuff and how well you deal with the successive complications.
Third law: Every complicated thing has an equally forceful slap or argument associated with it.
Religion (Time to get messier q_q)
First law: Believers stay believers, non-believers stay non-believers, unless a MIRACLE happens.
Second law: Miracles are equal to how happy God is today. There's no second variable.
Third law: Every miracle is associated with an appropriate amount of media coverage and annoying papparazzi. (In case you didn't get this one, Miracle = Good, not often. Media coverage and papparazzi = Bad, ALWAYS THERE ARGH.)
Second law: Miracles are equal to how happy God is today. There's no second variable.
Third law: Every miracle is associated with an appropriate amount of media coverage and annoying papparazzi. (In case you didn't get this one, Miracle = Good, not often. Media coverage and papparazzi = Bad, ALWAYS THERE ARGH.)
Philosophy
First law: Stuff that happens tends to happen. Stuff that doesn't happen tends to not happen. Unless some other stuff happens to make the stuff happen that should or shouldn't.
Second law: Stuff happening is equal to how much stuff is happening.
Second law: Stuff happening is equal to how much stuff is happening.
Third law: Everything that happens has something else that's not gonna happen.
CHAOS THEORY AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
CHAOS THEORY AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Games
First law: People that get owned (noobs) tend to always get owned. People that are good at games (pro, gosu) tend to own noobs, unless there's ATTITUDE. Like the noob gets pissed and improves, or the pro gets cocky and slumps.
Second law: ATTITUDE is equal to ANGRINESS and potential to be pro or not.
Third law: For every game, there is a winner, and a loser. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A WINNER. I'M SORRY PEYTON MANNING. I WATCHED YOUR MASTERCARD COMMERCIALS BUT I WASN'T CONVINCED.
Second law: ATTITUDE is equal to ANGRINESS and potential to be pro or not.
Third law: For every game, there is a winner, and a loser. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A WINNER. I'M SORRY PEYTON MANNING. I WATCHED YOUR MASTERCARD COMMERCIALS BUT I WASN'T CONVINCED.
Music
First law: Things in tune stay in tune, things out of tune stay out of tune, unless acted by an outside unknown dilemma, known as talent for those out of tune, and a cold for those in tune. However, mankind has been able to overcome this law recently with autotune. THE MIRACLES OF TECHNOLOGY!
Second law: Colds just come. They suck. Talent doesn't just come, which sucks. Look at what English can do with just a few changed words. (Refer to Newton's Laws of English, First law)
Third law: For every sound, there is an equal and opposite sound. Like, the opposite of a laughing sound is a crying sound. They're equally painful too, in different ways! Laughing too hard or crying too hard can both cause cramps.
Second law: Colds just come. They suck. Talent doesn't just come, which sucks. Look at what English can do with just a few changed words. (Refer to Newton's Laws of English, First law)
Third law: For every sound, there is an equal and opposite sound. Like, the opposite of a laughing sound is a crying sound. They're equally painful too, in different ways! Laughing too hard or crying too hard can both cause cramps.
People
First law: I'm me, you're you. We're unique. Unless I use some Jedi mind tricks.
Second law: Jedi mind tricks are equal to the Force, Yoda, and the Skywalkers, because those seem to be the only people that ever exist for more than 2 movies.
Third law: For every Jedi skill on the Light side, there's like 30 million more tricks on the Dark side. It's seriously messed up. Why would anyone want to be on the Light side??
Seriously, what is wrong. Light side...what the heck. Oh right. As I have proven...blah blah blah...Newton everywhere, yeah...blah blah blah...
What the heck Light side...what's the point of not being evil -_-...
Gr...
*Goes off to mope*
Second law: Jedi mind tricks are equal to the Force, Yoda, and the Skywalkers, because those seem to be the only people that ever exist for more than 2 movies.
Third law: For every Jedi skill on the Light side, there's like 30 million more tricks on the Dark side. It's seriously messed up. Why would anyone want to be on the Light side??
Seriously, what is wrong. Light side...what the heck. Oh right. As I have proven...blah blah blah...Newton everywhere, yeah...blah blah blah...
What the heck Light side...what's the point of not being evil -_-...
Gr...
*Goes off to mope*
Posted by
Dawn
Sunday, February 15, 2009
So...Valentine's Is Over
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So...Valentine's Is Over...
I...accomplished nothing. Oh well.
I spent the entire day loafing in front of my brand new pretty microphone stand and singing.
Oh well.
And since it's over I get a poem break ^^.
I...accomplished nothing. Oh well.
I spent the entire day loafing in front of my brand new pretty microphone stand and singing.
Oh well.
And since it's over I get a poem break ^^.
Posted by
Dawn
Saturday, February 14, 2009
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY POEM
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Secrets.
[PICTURE OF A SECRET]
The poem goes:
Not telling ^_^.
: P
BUT THERE ARE HINTS IN THE PREVIOUS POEMS. (HINT: In the subjects)
You get a lifetime supply of E-cookies if you even come close to guessing correctly.
Here's all the subjects from the start:
Feb 2nd : Ferrero Rocher
Feb 3rd : Chef Boyardee
Feb 4th : Sushi
Feb 5th : Mr Noodles Ramen Soup
Feb 6th : Jello
Feb 7th : Hacky Sack
Feb 8th : Vacuums
Feb 9th : Cream Cheese
Feb 10th : Orange Pudding
Feb 11th : Igloo
Feb 12th : Rice
Feb 13th : Ice Cream
Feb 14th : Secrets
[PICTURE OF A SECRET]
The poem goes:
Not telling ^_^.
: P
BUT THERE ARE HINTS IN THE PREVIOUS POEMS. (HINT: In the subjects)
You get a lifetime supply of E-cookies if you even come close to guessing correctly.
Here's all the subjects from the start:
Feb 2nd : Ferrero Rocher
Feb 3rd : Chef Boyardee
Feb 4th : Sushi
Feb 5th : Mr Noodles Ramen Soup
Feb 6th : Jello
Feb 7th : Hacky Sack
Feb 8th : Vacuums
Feb 9th : Cream Cheese
Feb 10th : Orange Pudding
Feb 11th : Igloo
Feb 12th : Rice
Feb 13th : Ice Cream
Feb 14th : Secrets
Posted by
Dawn
Friday, February 13, 2009
Valentine's Month - 1 Days Counting
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CRAVING...CRAVING REALLY BAD.
Ice Cream.
Cold:
Don't ignore me.
Bold:
Please acknowledge me.
Sold:
You bought my heart.
Mold:
Uh...Pass.
Controlled:
You have my every minute.
Fold:
A Valentine's Card for you.
Gold:
Your value in my life.
Old:
Pass. (GROW OLD TOGETHER? LOL)
Scold:
Because I'm stupid.
Told:
You about my love.
Hold:
You in my arms forever.
Ice Cream.Cold:
Don't ignore me.
Bold:
Please acknowledge me.
Sold:
You bought my heart.
Mold:
Uh...Pass.
Controlled:
You have my every minute.
Fold:
A Valentine's Card for you.
Gold:
Your value in my life.
Old:
Pass. (GROW OLD TOGETHER? LOL)
Scold:
Because I'm stupid.
Told:
You about my love.
Hold:
You in my arms forever.
Posted by
Dawn
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Valentine's Month - 2 Days Counting
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The food I had today reminded me that I haven't have rice in awhile...
I miss that stuff : (.
Rice
Are I See E?
Do U C Me?
The F-ort I U's
2 Uh-Track Your Ah10Shin?
The t-I-Me I Sp-End
Thing-King A-Bow-t U
You
Why Oh, You.
Y R U The Most Special
1 Within My World
Can U B N E More Uh...May Zing?
2 st-E-all My Heart
My 1 and Own-Li (fe)
1 Day U Will C
How Much I Love Thee
I miss that stuff : (.
Rice
Are I See E?
Do U C Me?
The F-ort I U's
2 Uh-Track Your Ah10Shin?
The t-I-Me I Sp-End
Thing-King A-Bow-t U
You
Why Oh, You.
Y R U The Most Special
1 Within My World
Can U B N E More Uh...May Zing?
2 st-E-all My Heart
My 1 and Own-Li (fe)
1 Day U Will C
How Much I Love Thee
Posted by
Dawn
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Valentine's Month - 3 Days Counting
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It was snowing and reminded me of...
When I take apart an Igloo:
Igloo
I glue
I go loo
I ga oh loo oh
I go loopy over you
Because
I am in love with you.
When I take apart an Igloo:
Igloo
I glue
I go loo
I ga oh loo oh
I go loopy over you
Because
I am in love with you.
Posted by
Dawn
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Valentine's Month - 4 Days Counting
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Today's Theme : Orange Pudding
To be honest, nothing is coming to mind when I look at this picture, except:
Om nom nom
Yum yum yum
Om nom nom
Yum yum yum
OM NOM NOM
YUM YUM YUM
I WANT ORANGE PUDDING
RIGHT NOW
CUZ IT TASTES SO REFRESHING
RIGHT NOW
KONVICT...
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
WISH I NEVER FINISHED MY LAST SERVING NA NA NA NA
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
PUDDING I KNOW MISTAKES WERE MADE BETWEEN US TWO
AND WE SHOW, THAT MY TASTE BUDS MET THAT NIGHT
EVEN SAID SOME THINGS WEREN'T TRUE
WHY'D YOU GO, AND I HAVEN'T SEEN MY PUDDING SINCE THEN
WHY CAN'T IT BE THE WAY IT WAS
CUZ YOU WERE MY FOOD, APPETITE, AND FRIEND
To be honest, nothing is coming to mind when I look at this picture, except:Om nom nom
Yum yum yum
Om nom nom
Yum yum yum
OM NOM NOM
YUM YUM YUM
I WANT ORANGE PUDDING
RIGHT NOW
CUZ IT TASTES SO REFRESHING
RIGHT NOW
KONVICT...
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
WISH I NEVER FINISHED MY LAST SERVING NA NA NA NA
I WANNA EAT ORANGE PUDDING NA NA NA NA
PUDDING I KNOW MISTAKES WERE MADE BETWEEN US TWO
AND WE SHOW, THAT MY TASTE BUDS MET THAT NIGHT
EVEN SAID SOME THINGS WEREN'T TRUE
WHY'D YOU GO, AND I HAVEN'T SEEN MY PUDDING SINCE THEN
WHY CAN'T IT BE THE WAY IT WAS
CUZ YOU WERE MY FOOD, APPETITE, AND FRIEND
Posted by
Dawn
Monday, February 9, 2009
Valentine's Month - 5 Days Counting
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comments
Today's theme is cream cheese.
Cream cheese goes with anything
Even buffalo or chicken wings.
Respected for its versatility,
Expected to be used responsibly,
This item is like one's manners
To their one and only lover
Expected to be flexible
To deal with any probable
Problems that may arise
And solve them, so wise
Like cream cheese to a bagel
A lover's personality should be able
To suit their partner's causes and needs
Because that's what it means to be cream cheese
Cream cheese goes with anything
Even buffalo or chicken wings.
Respected for its versatility,
Expected to be used responsibly,
This item is like one's manners
To their one and only lover
Expected to be flexible
To deal with any probable
Problems that may arise
And solve them, so wise
Like cream cheese to a bagel
A lover's personality should be able
To suit their partner's causes and needs
Because that's what it means to be cream cheese
Posted by
Dawn
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Valentine's Month - 6 Days Counting
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Check this out:
My childhood is shattered. This picture implies Kirby is a girl.
I always thought Kirby was like the epitome of manliness.
However, Kirby will still always be awesome, and to show that awesomeness, this poem will be about :
Vacuums!
My childhood is shattered. This picture implies Kirby is a girl.
I always thought Kirby was like the epitome of manliness.
However, Kirby will still always be awesome, and to show that awesomeness, this poem will be about :
Vacuums!
Vacuum cleaners inhale dust
For cleaning they are a must
For love they are equally just
So the vacuum cleaner, you must trust
I am the dust and you are the vacuum
But you push me away like a broom.
You always refuse to take me in
You deny my most heartfelt confession
However, it is you I will dedicate
My every minute when I meditate
Until the vacuum absorbs my waterfall
Leaving me dry and vulnerable to all
As hard as I try to resist
Your 10 horsepower insists
That you are the only one for me
Because Vacuums shall always be
The one that clears the debris
So that I can set my heart free
For cleaning they are a must
For love they are equally just
So the vacuum cleaner, you must trust
I am the dust and you are the vacuum
But you push me away like a broom.
You always refuse to take me in
You deny my most heartfelt confession
However, it is you I will dedicate
My every minute when I meditate
Until the vacuum absorbs my waterfall
Leaving me dry and vulnerable to all
As hard as I try to resist
Your 10 horsepower insists
That you are the only one for me
Because Vacuums shall always be
The one that clears the debris
So that I can set my heart free
Posted by
Dawn
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Valentine's Month - 7 Days Counting
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comments
So. Apparently some people are displeased with these poems being themed on food. Therefore due to suggestion and demand, this one's on:
That's a hacky sack, in case you're dyslexic.
That's a hacky sack, in case you're dyslexic.
For this Valentine's I have a hacky sack
To make you mine, I'm bringing sexy back
Kick it up, let it bounce
Not enough, not one ounce
Of my love will drop
Unless you're in spot
To catch my pass
And I know that
You will always be there to catch
This love that I nurture and hatch
From the bottom of my heart.
To make you mine, I'm bringing sexy back
Kick it up, let it bounce
Not enough, not one ounce
Of my love will drop
Unless you're in spot
To catch my pass
And I know that
You will always be there to catch
This love that I nurture and hatch
From the bottom of my heart.
LOOK GUYS. I FORMATTED IT : D.
Posted by
Dawn
Friday, February 6, 2009
Those Corporate Bastards...
1 comments
When one thinks gaming nowadays, what's the first few things that might pop into someone's head?
World of Warcraft by Blizzard? XBOX360 by Microsoft? The chain of EA franchise games? Or maybe you'd like to go back to old school Tetris. All these companies seem to make games for your enjoyment, but unknown to the public eye, they all have an ulterior motive. Here's the latest scoop:
Today's subject is EA
Let's begin.
One of EA's latest games:
Mirror's Edge
This game is NORTH AMERICA ONLY. Not Canada. Not US. North America.
But why would EA do this?
Let's see what EA has acquired and released as of late.
Beginning with:
WESTWOOD STUDIOS
Westwood studios was highly known for the intense Command and Conquer series...until EA took it. Now it's just known as the Command and Conquer series, minus the intense. Then EA took the concept and released Command and Conquer : Generals.
Making a statement? Clearly the earlier Command and Conquer games put you in the role of an army general, clearly noted in the early Tiberium Sun series and Red Alert series. But NO, EA has to MAKE SURE YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GENERAL.
EA Press Conference:
A: "What is the point of this game?"
B: "I think you gotta move the mouse around."
A: "Which one is the mouse."
B: "Here I'll lend you my wireless mouse, it's PERFECT for gaming and these situations."
A: "WOW. Thanks."
A: "So this game...what should we do about it."
B: "Well, you're an intelligent guy, because you work for EA, and since you couldn't figure out what this game is about, I suppose 100% of the population won't be able to either. I think we should spearhead the project with a SERIOUS but PROFESSIONAL name. Let's call it...Command and Conquer: GENERALS. You'll be the General in a game where you Command and Conquer...Understand?"
A: "Ooohhh...not really, but the name sounds cool. Maybe it'll turn into a franchise!"
B: "I think it already was one. I think we bought it because we thought we could take advantage of that fact. Hm...oh well."
B: "So...Mr. (Doesn't Know Anything About RTS nor The C&C Series)...any design ideas for this game?"
A: "Good question. I think we should start from scratch and ignore all the past successes and pros of the previous Command and Conquer games, and release something very characteristic of EA."
B: "GOOD IDEA."
1 week later.
B: "Hey I got the prototype version."
Project Manager: "Only?? Uh...well on the calendar it says we need to release a game today. We'll release yours ok?"
B: "But...it's..."
Project Manager: "So i herd u liek promoshuns"
B: "Ok, so...price?"
Project Manager: "The usual. $60."
B: "Ads?"
Project Manager: "The usual. Everywhere."
B: "Art?"
Project Manager: "Hm...my 5 year old has an Arts and Crafts project due tomorrow. I'll tell him to whip something up. Hey, I'll tell him it's killing two birds with one stone!"
1 week later.
A: "Wow, I must say this is pretty fun. I'm a complete noob. I just have to make sure I build one unit over and over."
B: "Yeah I know right?? But I got other things to do, talk to you later. I'm promoted, you're not."
A: "Wow, I must say this is pretty fun!"
@Blizzard Headquarters:
C: "Yo wtf is this?"
D: "Dunno"
C: "This looks like it was finished in one week"
D: "Probably was."
C: "Fuck my life if Starcraft II turns out like this."
D: "We gotta make sure we get it perfect, not like this EA stuff."
C&D: "HIGH FIVE!"
Clearly, EA missed the target on this one.
Then there was THE SIMS.
The main purpose of the Sims franchise...was to be a franchise. And to study human AI and gibberish so that EA could eventually rule the world after they learn how to be Generals and command massive armies of battle tanks.
Here is a excerpt from the design team of The Sims:
E: "?"
F: "!"
E: ": )"
F: ": D"
With that exciting concept, The Sims was released and an instant hit. Next conversation is as follows:
E: "$?"
F: ": D"
With that exciting concept, The Sims expansion packs were released. By the time you could type in the cheats for 1000 Simoleans, the new expansion pack was out where you'd have to start typing more cheats to get all the new stuff. Smart EA...
Other notable games EA has released include:
Rock Band (for music)
EA Sports (Such as NHL, Madden, FIFA) (for sports)
Spore (For evolution and future cosmic domination)
SimCity (How to manage a City. The starting point and base of your army)
Need for Speed (How to shake off the cops)
However, there was one thing missing and one tall wall in their way.
Take Two Interactive. (Which EA decided to attempt a hostile takeover and failed.)
Without Grand Theft Auto and BioShock, EA was missing two vital conditions for world takeover, notably How To Do Things Right and How To Do Things When The World is FUCKED.
However, unfortunately, so far EA has been sneaky and ninja, as proven by their Mirror's Edge game, and no one has been able to pin sufficient concrete evidence on them yet.
Anyways, in conclusion, EA is clearly trying to acquire America and Canada in one big sweep, and collectively command it under the name "NORTH AMERICA". It is up to WE THE PEOPLE, or in Canadian lingo "Oi, we better get together, eh?", to stop this atrocity.
Any other leads on EA's ulterior motives deeply appreciated, please and thank you.
Anyways, time to go play on the Microsoft XBOX 360. I'll be playing EA Sports NHL 09 by the way.
I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE. STFU.
World of Warcraft by Blizzard? XBOX360 by Microsoft? The chain of EA franchise games? Or maybe you'd like to go back to old school Tetris. All these companies seem to make games for your enjoyment, but unknown to the public eye, they all have an ulterior motive. Here's the latest scoop:
Today's subject is EA
Let's begin.
One of EA's latest games:
Mirror's Edge
This game is NORTH AMERICA ONLY. Not Canada. Not US. North America.
But why would EA do this?
Let's see what EA has acquired and released as of late.
Beginning with:
WESTWOOD STUDIOS
Westwood studios was highly known for the intense Command and Conquer series...until EA took it. Now it's just known as the Command and Conquer series, minus the intense. Then EA took the concept and released Command and Conquer : Generals.
Making a statement? Clearly the earlier Command and Conquer games put you in the role of an army general, clearly noted in the early Tiberium Sun series and Red Alert series. But NO, EA has to MAKE SURE YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GENERAL.
EA Press Conference:
A: "What is the point of this game?"
B: "I think you gotta move the mouse around."
A: "Which one is the mouse."
B: "Here I'll lend you my wireless mouse, it's PERFECT for gaming and these situations."
A: "WOW. Thanks."
A: "So this game...what should we do about it."
B: "Well, you're an intelligent guy, because you work for EA, and since you couldn't figure out what this game is about, I suppose 100% of the population won't be able to either. I think we should spearhead the project with a SERIOUS but PROFESSIONAL name. Let's call it...Command and Conquer: GENERALS. You'll be the General in a game where you Command and Conquer...Understand?"
A: "Ooohhh...not really, but the name sounds cool. Maybe it'll turn into a franchise!"
B: "I think it already was one. I think we bought it because we thought we could take advantage of that fact. Hm...oh well."
B: "So...Mr. (Doesn't Know Anything About RTS nor The C&C Series)...any design ideas for this game?"
A: "Good question. I think we should start from scratch and ignore all the past successes and pros of the previous Command and Conquer games, and release something very characteristic of EA."
B: "GOOD IDEA."
1 week later.
B: "Hey I got the prototype version."
Project Manager: "Only?? Uh...well on the calendar it says we need to release a game today. We'll release yours ok?"
B: "But...it's..."
Project Manager: "So i herd u liek promoshuns"
B: "Ok, so...price?"
Project Manager: "The usual. $60."
B: "Ads?"
Project Manager: "The usual. Everywhere."
B: "Art?"
Project Manager: "Hm...my 5 year old has an Arts and Crafts project due tomorrow. I'll tell him to whip something up. Hey, I'll tell him it's killing two birds with one stone!"
1 week later.
A: "Wow, I must say this is pretty fun. I'm a complete noob. I just have to make sure I build one unit over and over."
B: "Yeah I know right?? But I got other things to do, talk to you later. I'm promoted, you're not."
A: "Wow, I must say this is pretty fun!"
@Blizzard Headquarters:
C: "Yo wtf is this?"
D: "Dunno"
C: "This looks like it was finished in one week"
D: "Probably was."
C: "Fuck my life if Starcraft II turns out like this."
D: "We gotta make sure we get it perfect, not like this EA stuff."
C&D: "HIGH FIVE!"
Clearly, EA missed the target on this one.
Then there was THE SIMS.
The main purpose of the Sims franchise...was to be a franchise. And to study human AI and gibberish so that EA could eventually rule the world after they learn how to be Generals and command massive armies of battle tanks.
Here is a excerpt from the design team of The Sims:
E: "?"
F: "!"
E: ": )"
F: ": D"
With that exciting concept, The Sims was released and an instant hit. Next conversation is as follows:
E: "$?"
F: ": D"
With that exciting concept, The Sims expansion packs were released. By the time you could type in the cheats for 1000 Simoleans, the new expansion pack was out where you'd have to start typing more cheats to get all the new stuff. Smart EA...
Other notable games EA has released include:
Rock Band (for music)
EA Sports (Such as NHL, Madden, FIFA) (for sports)
Spore (For evolution and future cosmic domination)
SimCity (How to manage a City. The starting point and base of your army)
Need for Speed (How to shake off the cops)
However, there was one thing missing and one tall wall in their way.
Take Two Interactive. (Which EA decided to attempt a hostile takeover and failed.)
Without Grand Theft Auto and BioShock, EA was missing two vital conditions for world takeover, notably How To Do Things Right and How To Do Things When The World is FUCKED.
However, unfortunately, so far EA has been sneaky and ninja, as proven by their Mirror's Edge game, and no one has been able to pin sufficient concrete evidence on them yet.
Anyways, in conclusion, EA is clearly trying to acquire America and Canada in one big sweep, and collectively command it under the name "NORTH AMERICA". It is up to WE THE PEOPLE, or in Canadian lingo "Oi, we better get together, eh?", to stop this atrocity.
Any other leads on EA's ulterior motives deeply appreciated, please and thank you.
Anyways, time to go play on the Microsoft XBOX 360. I'll be playing EA Sports NHL 09 by the way.
I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE. STFU.
Posted by
Dawn
Valentine's Month - 8 Days Counting
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comments
So, props to my roommate for pointing this out.
Apparently had I thought of this sooner, it would have made these posts of poems so much more witty.
Valentine's Day is 13 letters. Perfect for the countdown. If somehow I sneaked the first letter into each title...or did SOMETHING with it, at the very least, it would've been 1000 times cooler. Unfortunately I didn't, but maybe I'll keep it in mind for next year if I'm still alive past this Valentine's Day.
Anyways, to thank my roommate for his astute observation, I will write a poem about his current obsession. Short story even shorter, he walked into Shoppers on the way home and bought 2 packs of "Make it yourself" Jell-o. Therefore today's theme is:
Before I begin, let me explain something that I've been wondering, and what the poem will be based on.
...Does Jell-o ever freeze or melt? I've seen it placed in a REALLY cold freezer, and it's still...Jello...
Same with melting. I've seen it placed under those really powerful lamps that are supposed to keep things HOT. But I've never seen it melt.
I've come to the conclusion that JELLO IS ETERNAL.
AND SO I POEMIZE:
Jello, a snack of epicness
No virtuoso dare contest this
Never melt and never freeze
Jello remains to be eternally seen
Guess what is also eternal?
My love for you which is infernal
Burning with red fervor within
Like strawberry flavored gelatin
Jello represents above all else
The bubbly emotions in one's self
So every day keep in mind
That as you eat your dessert
There is someone that hurts
Because they think about you all the time
IS THIS A SONNET? SORRY SHAKESPEARE.
Apparently had I thought of this sooner, it would have made these posts of poems so much more witty.
Valentine's Day is 13 letters. Perfect for the countdown. If somehow I sneaked the first letter into each title...or did SOMETHING with it, at the very least, it would've been 1000 times cooler. Unfortunately I didn't, but maybe I'll keep it in mind for next year if I'm still alive past this Valentine's Day.
Anyways, to thank my roommate for his astute observation, I will write a poem about his current obsession. Short story even shorter, he walked into Shoppers on the way home and bought 2 packs of "Make it yourself" Jell-o. Therefore today's theme is:
Before I begin, let me explain something that I've been wondering, and what the poem will be based on....Does Jell-o ever freeze or melt? I've seen it placed in a REALLY cold freezer, and it's still...Jello...
Same with melting. I've seen it placed under those really powerful lamps that are supposed to keep things HOT. But I've never seen it melt.
I've come to the conclusion that JELLO IS ETERNAL.
AND SO I POEMIZE:
Jello, a snack of epicness
No virtuoso dare contest this
Never melt and never freeze
Jello remains to be eternally seen
Guess what is also eternal?
My love for you which is infernal
Burning with red fervor within
Like strawberry flavored gelatin
Jello represents above all else
The bubbly emotions in one's self
So every day keep in mind
That as you eat your dessert
There is someone that hurts
Because they think about you all the time
IS THIS A SONNET? SORRY SHAKESPEARE.
Posted by
Dawn
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The People's Republic of the United Provinces of CanadaMerica Commonwealth Union
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comments
In response to EA neglecting the existence of either the United States of America or Canada, I have decided to spearhead a new project and country:
The People's Republic of The United Provinces of CanadaMerica Commonwealth Union
Quick Fact Reference Sheet
Our National Anthem:
Oh say can you get up
After I beat you to the ground
Because I am just that awesome
So you better kneel to me
Oh say can you burn
After I light you on fire
And decorate you with
Flammable bug spray
Oh say can you
Be any crappier?
Get lost
Go away
Seriously.
Our National Pledge:
I pledge allegiance, to myself
For myself
Me
and I
And to the republic, for which it revolves around, aka me
One nation, under me, indivisible, with peanut butter and jelly for all
Our Motto:
"Swords are cooler than guns. Bringin' it old school"
Our Mascot:
James Lam
Our Flag:
Our National Sports:
1. Whichever one EA hasn't made yet.
2. Faggot Hunting with Elmer Fuck.
3. Owning noobs
Our National Pride:
Being pro.
Official Language:
Pro.
Governmental System:
Tribal. Also pro.
Ethnic Groups:
Quick Fact Reference Sheet
Our National Anthem:
Oh say can you get up
After I beat you to the ground
Because I am just that awesome
So you better kneel to me
Oh say can you burn
After I light you on fire
And decorate you with
Flammable bug spray
Oh say can you
Be any crappier?
Get lost
Go away
Seriously.
Our National Pledge:
I pledge allegiance, to myself
For myself
Me
and I
And to the republic, for which it revolves around, aka me
One nation, under me, indivisible, with peanut butter and jelly for all
Our Motto:
"Swords are cooler than guns. Bringin' it old school"
Our Mascot:
James Lam
Our Flag:
Our National Sports:
1. Whichever one EA hasn't made yet.
2. Faggot Hunting with Elmer Fuck.
3. Owning noobs
Our National Pride:
Being pro.
Official Language:
Pro.
Governmental System:
Tribal. Also pro.
Ethnic Groups:
Professionals, Specialists, Amazing People, Talented People, People that don't work for EA.
Demonym:
CanaMeridian
Establishment:
Today. Tomorrow. And the day after.
Area:
Anywhere and everywhere. We may even be right behind you. Or we might just be in your head. Oh SHNAPZ.
Population:
Currently pending.
Currency:
XBOX Achievements.
Drives on the:
Today. Tomorrow. And the day after.
Area:
Anywhere and everywhere. We may even be right behind you. Or we might just be in your head. Oh SHNAPZ.
Population:
Currently pending.
Currency:
XBOX Achievements.
Drives on the:
Middle
Military Strength:
Mind-blowing. We've got Sam Fisher as our undercover agent, Master Chief as our Chief Field Officer. Dante is our Special Response Team. Gandalf spearheads our Magic Department, which we use to summon Balrogs and Bahamuts. Plus we've got the Jim Raynor avatar, which wins us the battle by just placing it on the battlefield. Our Army is composed of the best of the best from Battlefield, Counterstrike, Team Fortress, Ghost Recon, Rainbox Six, and better AI than Halo 3 will ever have.
Forgeign Relations:
EA - Bad. They want to shut us down.
Other Information coming soon.
Mind-blowing. We've got Sam Fisher as our undercover agent, Master Chief as our Chief Field Officer. Dante is our Special Response Team. Gandalf spearheads our Magic Department, which we use to summon Balrogs and Bahamuts. Plus we've got the Jim Raynor avatar, which wins us the battle by just placing it on the battlefield. Our Army is composed of the best of the best from Battlefield, Counterstrike, Team Fortress, Ghost Recon, Rainbox Six, and better AI than Halo 3 will ever have.
Forgeign Relations:
EA - Bad. They want to shut us down.
Other Information coming soon.
Posted by
Dawn
Valentine's Month - 9 Days Counting
0
comments
Time for another hardcore post.
This one is on...
Mr Noodles Ramen Soup
I eat it while driving
In my 2010 Porsche Coupe
All the while calling, on my cell phone
Up all my crew, party at my home
One more special lady
I must invite
To my open house party
She'll be the limelight of the night
It'll be the sight that sets the fireworks alight.
But as I dial
My soup doth spill
All the while
My hands cannot grasp the wheel
I swerve into the other lane
Into oncoming traffic
My life flashes and my sight wanes
How truly tragic
Horns honk and people scream
I think I am finished, or so it seems
But I open my eyes to see
That Mr Noodles protected me
Using his magical noodle powers
He reduced the impact
Even my red rose flowers
Remained intact
And so I hurry home
And call up all my friends on my phone
I inform them of the events
That occurred just moments ago
"Mr Noodles saved my life" I say
"Perhaps you are right," they say.
However learn your lesson you must,
never drive while eating and phoning, because
Mr Noodles may not always be there to save you
And if he doesn't come
The words that you promised to hold true
To the only special one
You may never be able to carry through
But for tonight, be thankful to Mr Noodles Instant Ramen Soup
That you can spend a great night
With the one you hold dearest
Say "I love you" with all your might.
This one is on...
Mr Noodles Ramen Soup
I eat it while driving
In my 2010 Porsche Coupe
All the while calling, on my cell phone
Up all my crew, party at my home
One more special lady
I must invite
To my open house party
She'll be the limelight of the night
It'll be the sight that sets the fireworks alight.
But as I dial
My soup doth spill
All the while
My hands cannot grasp the wheel
I swerve into the other lane
Into oncoming traffic
My life flashes and my sight wanes
How truly tragic
Horns honk and people scream
I think I am finished, or so it seems
But I open my eyes to see
That Mr Noodles protected me
Using his magical noodle powers
He reduced the impact
Even my red rose flowers
Remained intact
And so I hurry home
And call up all my friends on my phone
I inform them of the events
That occurred just moments ago
"Mr Noodles saved my life" I say
"Perhaps you are right," they say.
However learn your lesson you must,
never drive while eating and phoning, because
Mr Noodles may not always be there to save you
And if he doesn't come
The words that you promised to hold true
To the only special one
You may never be able to carry through
But for tonight, be thankful to Mr Noodles Instant Ramen Soup
That you can spend a great night
With the one you hold dearest
Say "I love you" with all your might.
Posted by
Dawn
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
So According to EA
0
comments
All I can say is...good job Electronic Arts.
There's definitely a subliminal message in this. Notice how EA refers to it as "North AMERICA", and not "North CANADA". I think there's something going on here. I will look into this further and report back later.
VIVA LA CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's definitely a subliminal message in this. Notice how EA refers to it as "North AMERICA", and not "North CANADA". I think there's something going on here. I will look into this further and report back later.VIVA LA CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by
Dawn
The MASOOAW Game. - Beta Release Version 0.9
0
comments
The hit new game of the decade. I introduce...(coined by my roommate).
THE MASOOAW GAME.
aka the Make A Sentence Out Of A Word Game
Currently available for the following platforms:
MSN Instant Messenger
Minimum Requirements:
A Computer
A Keyboard
An Internet
No Life
Recommended Requirements:
2.4+ GHZ Dual Core Processor
2 GBytes of System RAM
NVIDIA 7800GTX+ or ATI x1300+ Video Card
8 GB of Free Hard Drive Space
Brain and Creativity suggested but not required.
Synopsis:
One loser messages the other loser.
Idiot A: "Hey loser"
Idiot B: "Luke owned some educated retards."
The gist of this game is to make a sentence, where each word begins with the letters of the last word of the opponent's sentence. It's quite straightforward, unless you ignored the suggestions of having a brain and some creativity, no life, and a lot of time.
Difficulties:
Idiot-proof:
Use each letter, make a word. Doesn't have to make sense.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Fudge animal green goat our tables"
Amateur:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical sense. However, "compound words" are allowed, such as "coffee mug" or "a lot". Those would count for a "c" or an "a", respectively. Slang is permitted.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Freedom affects gays, gigolos, or tree huggers.
Intermediate:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang still permitted.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Flamingos are getting gangsta over time.
Hard:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang are now prohibited.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Flamingos are getting greedier over time."
Professional:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang prohibited. Needs to follow a preset theme, determined at the beginning of the round by rock paper scissors.
Legendary:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang prohibited. Proper nouns, names, etc. now prohibited. Needs to follow a preset theme. Needs to have a minimum of 3 points. Needs to incorporate a minimum of 3 special rules, decided at beginning of round.
Rules:
Suggested players: 2-5.
Play modes:
Elimination - This method of play is turn based. Per each circulation, whoever has the least amount of points is eliminated for the next circulation. This continues until a winner is decided.
King of the Hill - This method of play is turn based. Per each circulation, the scoreboard leader is permitted to choose an additional handicap rule. The set of handicap rules must begin at none during the start, and add up as the circulations continue. To win in this mode, stay score leader for a certain number of rounds, agreed upon by the group.
Deathmatch Turn - This method of play is turn based, but unlimited. The goal of this mode is to stump the next player. Deathmatch involves a minimum sentence score, which is agreed upon by the group. If the next player passes, cannot come up with a sentence required by the difficulty, or does not meet the score minimum, he or she is "killed".
Deathmatch Free - This method of play is challenge based. Follows the same "kill" requirements as Deathmatch Turn, however in this mode, you may select the player you want to knock out.
Normal - Play a certain amount of circulations. At the end of the round, the player with the most points is declared the winner.
Misc. Play Rules:
Last word of each sentence must exceed 4 characters.
Play nice.
At difficulties other than Legendary, the usage of special rules is optional but not mandatory, as well as their application. However, per each sentence, if a special rule is utilized, bonus points are rewarded. The amount of special rules, and which ones, must be decided at the beginning of the round.
Scoring:
Rhyming - Rhyming points are distributed by how many words are rhymed in a row minus 1. For instance, if I rhymed three words in a row, I would earn two points.
Using a word with 8 or more distinct letters earns an additional point for every letter over 8. For instance, the word "keyboard" would yield 1 point. Speakerphone would yield 3 points, because it has 10 distinct letters.
Passive tense deducts 1 point.
A lack of subject verb agreement deducts one point.
(Applicable to Intermediate and Higher) Conjunction words deduct 1 point.
Keeping words under: If every word is under 6 characters long, award 1 point.
Staying over the bar: If every word is over 9 characters long, award 1 point.
Repeats: Follow the same grammatical style, idea, or sentence structure for each following sentence after the inital one yields 1 point, 3 points, 5 points, and so on.
A diss is 1 point.
An oxymoron is 1 point.
Paradox statements deduct 1 point.
Matching syllables: Minimum three words in a row. Starting from four words in a row and more, 1 point is awarded for each word that has the same number of syllables as the last. A multiplier is also applied for the number of syllable. For example, "Last night was lame" is 1 point. However, "Little nephew wounded llamas" would award 2 points, because 2 syllable words were used.
Handicap&Item Rules:
Skip and gain (Item) - The holder of this item is allowed to skip and gain the "minimum" sentence points.
Special Rules:
Word Max - Each word cannot exceed 10 characters.
Word Min - Each word cannot have less than 5 characters.
Time attack - The contender must answer within a certain limited amount of time.
THE MASOOAW GAME.
aka the Make A Sentence Out Of A Word Game
Currently available for the following platforms:
MSN Instant Messenger
Minimum Requirements:
A Computer
A Keyboard
An Internet
No Life
Recommended Requirements:
2.4+ GHZ Dual Core Processor
2 GBytes of System RAM
NVIDIA 7800GTX+ or ATI x1300+ Video Card
8 GB of Free Hard Drive Space
Brain and Creativity suggested but not required.
Synopsis:
One loser messages the other loser.
Idiot A: "Hey loser"
Idiot B: "Luke owned some educated retards."
The gist of this game is to make a sentence, where each word begins with the letters of the last word of the opponent's sentence. It's quite straightforward, unless you ignored the suggestions of having a brain and some creativity, no life, and a lot of time.
Difficulties:
Idiot-proof:
Use each letter, make a word. Doesn't have to make sense.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Fudge animal green goat our tables"
Amateur:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical sense. However, "compound words" are allowed, such as "coffee mug" or "a lot". Those would count for a "c" or an "a", respectively. Slang is permitted.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Freedom affects gays, gigolos, or tree huggers.
Intermediate:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang still permitted.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Flamingos are getting gangsta over time.
Hard:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang are now prohibited.
Example:
Idiot A: "Hey faggot."
Idiot B: "Flamingos are getting greedier over time."
Professional:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang prohibited. Needs to follow a preset theme, determined at the beginning of the round by rock paper scissors.
Legendary:
Use each letter, make a word. Sentence needs to make grammatical and logical sense. "Compound words" and slang prohibited. Proper nouns, names, etc. now prohibited. Needs to follow a preset theme. Needs to have a minimum of 3 points. Needs to incorporate a minimum of 3 special rules, decided at beginning of round.
Rules:
Suggested players: 2-5.
Play modes:
Elimination - This method of play is turn based. Per each circulation, whoever has the least amount of points is eliminated for the next circulation. This continues until a winner is decided.
King of the Hill - This method of play is turn based. Per each circulation, the scoreboard leader is permitted to choose an additional handicap rule. The set of handicap rules must begin at none during the start, and add up as the circulations continue. To win in this mode, stay score leader for a certain number of rounds, agreed upon by the group.
Deathmatch Turn - This method of play is turn based, but unlimited. The goal of this mode is to stump the next player. Deathmatch involves a minimum sentence score, which is agreed upon by the group. If the next player passes, cannot come up with a sentence required by the difficulty, or does not meet the score minimum, he or she is "killed".
Deathmatch Free - This method of play is challenge based. Follows the same "kill" requirements as Deathmatch Turn, however in this mode, you may select the player you want to knock out.
Normal - Play a certain amount of circulations. At the end of the round, the player with the most points is declared the winner.
Misc. Play Rules:
Last word of each sentence must exceed 4 characters.
Play nice.
At difficulties other than Legendary, the usage of special rules is optional but not mandatory, as well as their application. However, per each sentence, if a special rule is utilized, bonus points are rewarded. The amount of special rules, and which ones, must be decided at the beginning of the round.
Scoring:
Rhyming - Rhyming points are distributed by how many words are rhymed in a row minus 1. For instance, if I rhymed three words in a row, I would earn two points.
Using a word with 8 or more distinct letters earns an additional point for every letter over 8. For instance, the word "keyboard" would yield 1 point. Speakerphone would yield 3 points, because it has 10 distinct letters.
Passive tense deducts 1 point.
A lack of subject verb agreement deducts one point.
(Applicable to Intermediate and Higher) Conjunction words deduct 1 point.
Keeping words under: If every word is under 6 characters long, award 1 point.
Staying over the bar: If every word is over 9 characters long, award 1 point.
Repeats: Follow the same grammatical style, idea, or sentence structure for each following sentence after the inital one yields 1 point, 3 points, 5 points, and so on.
A diss is 1 point.
An oxymoron is 1 point.
Paradox statements deduct 1 point.
Matching syllables: Minimum three words in a row. Starting from four words in a row and more, 1 point is awarded for each word that has the same number of syllables as the last. A multiplier is also applied for the number of syllable. For example, "Last night was lame" is 1 point. However, "Little nephew wounded llamas" would award 2 points, because 2 syllable words were used.
Handicap&Item Rules:
Skip and gain (Item) - The holder of this item is allowed to skip and gain the "minimum" sentence points.
Special Rules:
Word Max - Each word cannot exceed 10 characters.
Word Min - Each word cannot have less than 5 characters.
Time attack - The contender must answer within a certain limited amount of time.
The WTF Game Version 0.9 (C) Fook You @ http://this-is-going-no-where.blogspot.com/
This is serious business.
Posted by
Dawn
Valentine's Month - 10 Days Counting
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Today's theme is sushi. LOOK. ISN'T IT PRETTY?
Sushi of the heart shape
Decorative and ornate
Tells me of the affection
That you send in my direction
Salmon meat wrapped within
The paper which is ever so thin
But thick with love they glow
With tip to lobe they show
That a simple heart may convey
All the feelings I feel today
So no matter the place
And no matter the form
As long as your love is the taste
My heart will feel your warmth
:).
Sushi of the heart shape
Decorative and ornate
Tells me of the affection
That you send in my direction
Salmon meat wrapped within
The paper which is ever so thin
But thick with love they glow
With tip to lobe they show
That a simple heart may convey
All the feelings I feel today
So no matter the place
And no matter the form
As long as your love is the taste
My heart will feel your warmth
:).
Posted by
Dawn
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Valentine's Month - 11 Days Counting
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Too much cheesy stuff has been going down lately, so this one's gonna be HARDCORE.
Therefore, our theme is :
Chef Boyardee
Sauce and Ravioli
Pasta like Versace
Better than Gucci
But not quite like Vivaldi
More like a crying spaghetti
Soaked and drowning in confetti
Like a happy and excited yeti
However for Valentine's day
For Chef Boyardee you need not pay
Because it shall be on sale
(And probably free)
Since I would definitely eat
Chef Boyardee
To celebrate Valentine's day
In the best way
Now these don't even follow a pattern
I'm just rhyming words such as lantern
And somehow we must relate
This poem to the opposite of hate
So at the end of the very last line
We shall realize that we shall find
The word "love" without any context
So without any more useless text...
Love.
Therefore, our theme is :
Chef Boyardee
Sauce and Ravioli
Pasta like Versace
Better than Gucci
But not quite like Vivaldi
More like a crying spaghetti
Soaked and drowning in confetti
Like a happy and excited yeti
However for Valentine's day
For Chef Boyardee you need not pay
Because it shall be on sale
(And probably free)
Since I would definitely eat
Chef Boyardee
To celebrate Valentine's day
In the best way
Now these don't even follow a pattern
I'm just rhyming words such as lantern
And somehow we must relate
This poem to the opposite of hate
So at the end of the very last line
We shall realize that we shall find
The word "love" without any context
So without any more useless text...
Love.
Posted by
Dawn
Monday, February 2, 2009
February - Valentine's Month
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comments
February is here!
In the spirit of February, I shall post a cheesy love poem EVERY DAY. EXCITING, no?
If anyone has objections, defer them to my roommate, as he suggested that I drink coffee like...an hour ago.
Oooh bad idea.
First I need to rant about how bad coffee is.
It's bad. It makes me loopy and high. I can down 10 cans of Coca Cola and be fine, but coffee...OH NO. I pity my roommate right now. If I ever drink coffee ever again, I will also give my condolences to those that are so unfortunate in coming into contact with me.
So now, the poem.
I originally didn't have any ideas for this, but props to my roommate for inspiring me with this picture:
Ferrero Rocher in a bouquet
Heartwarming care, wins my heart away
Roses of paper, but hearts of fire
Burning greater, it's you I desire
Chocolate sweetness melting in a bite
The uniqueness of the flavor quite just like
The moments you and I may share
Or times alone when you wish the other were there
Hazelnut pieces that loudly crunch
Makes me see that only once
Each distinct sound may utter it's tune
Like the different ways I can say "I love you"
But as I eat each and everyone one
Like rose petals wither after the setting sun
I think about all the places where
I could find someone who would care
Whenever and everywhere, and so I share
With you, my bouquet of Ferrero Rocher
In the spirit of February, I shall post a cheesy love poem EVERY DAY. EXCITING, no?
If anyone has objections, defer them to my roommate, as he suggested that I drink coffee like...an hour ago.
Oooh bad idea.
First I need to rant about how bad coffee is.
It's bad. It makes me loopy and high. I can down 10 cans of Coca Cola and be fine, but coffee...OH NO. I pity my roommate right now. If I ever drink coffee ever again, I will also give my condolences to those that are so unfortunate in coming into contact with me.
So now, the poem.
I originally didn't have any ideas for this, but props to my roommate for inspiring me with this picture:
Ferrero Rocher in a bouquet
Heartwarming care, wins my heart away
Roses of paper, but hearts of fire
Burning greater, it's you I desire
Chocolate sweetness melting in a bite
The uniqueness of the flavor quite just like
The moments you and I may share
Or times alone when you wish the other were there
Hazelnut pieces that loudly crunch
Makes me see that only once
Each distinct sound may utter it's tune
Like the different ways I can say "I love you"
But as I eat each and everyone one
Like rose petals wither after the setting sun
I think about all the places where
I could find someone who would care
Whenever and everywhere, and so I share
With you, my bouquet of Ferrero Rocher
Posted by
Dawn
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Teaching Physics
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comments
Maybe I’ll turn this into a weekly thing, or a once every two posts thing. Rather than trying to fill up every slot with entries that are stupid and wanna-be-funny, I’ll try to write something more down to Earth and sensitive. Also, rather than calling these entries “mine”, I’ll claim that it is “something nice I found on the internet and would like to share”, because that’s what everyone does, right? Anyways here comes the challenging part. Writing something sensitive. I'm not known to be a sensitive person, so this may be an utter failure, but I need some variation in this blog.
So this one is called Teaching Physics.
Students were together in a study group, and the one leading the discussion was at a road block as no one really understood the material. Then that student got an idea.
How about we teach physics like this:
Let’s start with kinematics.
Kinematics is the study of motion and motion alone. In other words, it’s how you and the person you love do things together. Such as seeing a movie, or stargazing. It’s also the pace of your relationship, or the “velocity”. It’s related to how far you’ve gone, “distance”, how much time you’ve been together “time”, and how fast you’d like to go “acceleration”.
Dynamics is the study of the causes of motion. In other words, it’s how you and the person you love started things, such as initially asking the other one on a date, or to go somewhere. It’s the icebreaker for your relationship. There are three main laws that govern this: “Newton’s laws of motion”. They state that
1. Unless you do something, your relationship, or lack thereof, won’t change, which can either be good or bad.
2. What you do, “force”, is related to the significance (like how romantic or how stupid) aka “the mass” and the “acceleration”, mentioned earlier.
3. For everything you do, your lover will do something in return. Meaning if you think she’s pretty, you should say it, and she should say something or do something in return.
Next is work. Work is related to your “force” and “distance”. So it’s the effort you’ve put in to get to where you are. If you haven’t gotten anywhere, or you haven’t done anything, your work is 0.
Then momentum is related to “mass” and “velocity”. It’s the product of what you’ve done and your pace. The greater this is, the easier it will be getting through difficult times, unless you find difficulties that are equal to your momentum.
Equilibrium is when you are both doing things for each other. This is a stable situation, so no worries.
This seemed to be working very well, and everyone was having fun. The night continued as a great study session until one of the students decided to ask a curious question:
“Why did you suddenly start teaching physics through the idea of love and relationships?”
The student that was teaching blushed a little, and then chuckled. After a short silence, the student said, “I think you need to review density.”
Note: This originally was a longer narrative story, however, it ended up being very messy and didn’t really make sense so it’s been shortened to what it is now. Still, I think both forms, this and the original, are terrible; I thought it would’ve turned out a little bit better, but this really hit rock bottom in my opinion. I’ll have to work on my sensitive side. I think I tried to force a theme too much in this one, as well as trying to convey something I felt through a method I don’t know about. Next time I’ll just try writing whatever comes to mind.
Salvage this Post!: What do you do when you still like a girl after you know she either 1. Doesn't like you 2. Likes someone else or 3. Just sees you as a friend.
You're always thinking of her, but to no avail. Sometimes you wish you could forget about her. Sometimes you hate yourself for being selfish, because she'll be happier liking who she wants to. The best and worst times are when you're hopeful. Then there are those times when you just don't know what to do...
And you tell yourself:
Just move on, idiot.
But you just can't.
So this one is called Teaching Physics.
Students were together in a study group, and the one leading the discussion was at a road block as no one really understood the material. Then that student got an idea.
How about we teach physics like this:
Let’s start with kinematics.
Kinematics is the study of motion and motion alone. In other words, it’s how you and the person you love do things together. Such as seeing a movie, or stargazing. It’s also the pace of your relationship, or the “velocity”. It’s related to how far you’ve gone, “distance”, how much time you’ve been together “time”, and how fast you’d like to go “acceleration”.
Dynamics is the study of the causes of motion. In other words, it’s how you and the person you love started things, such as initially asking the other one on a date, or to go somewhere. It’s the icebreaker for your relationship. There are three main laws that govern this: “Newton’s laws of motion”. They state that
1. Unless you do something, your relationship, or lack thereof, won’t change, which can either be good or bad.
2. What you do, “force”, is related to the significance (like how romantic or how stupid) aka “the mass” and the “acceleration”, mentioned earlier.
3. For everything you do, your lover will do something in return. Meaning if you think she’s pretty, you should say it, and she should say something or do something in return.
Next is work. Work is related to your “force” and “distance”. So it’s the effort you’ve put in to get to where you are. If you haven’t gotten anywhere, or you haven’t done anything, your work is 0.
Then momentum is related to “mass” and “velocity”. It’s the product of what you’ve done and your pace. The greater this is, the easier it will be getting through difficult times, unless you find difficulties that are equal to your momentum.
Equilibrium is when you are both doing things for each other. This is a stable situation, so no worries.
This seemed to be working very well, and everyone was having fun. The night continued as a great study session until one of the students decided to ask a curious question:
“Why did you suddenly start teaching physics through the idea of love and relationships?”
The student that was teaching blushed a little, and then chuckled. After a short silence, the student said, “I think you need to review density.”
Note: This originally was a longer narrative story, however, it ended up being very messy and didn’t really make sense so it’s been shortened to what it is now. Still, I think both forms, this and the original, are terrible; I thought it would’ve turned out a little bit better, but this really hit rock bottom in my opinion. I’ll have to work on my sensitive side. I think I tried to force a theme too much in this one, as well as trying to convey something I felt through a method I don’t know about. Next time I’ll just try writing whatever comes to mind.
Salvage this Post!: What do you do when you still like a girl after you know she either 1. Doesn't like you 2. Likes someone else or 3. Just sees you as a friend.
You're always thinking of her, but to no avail. Sometimes you wish you could forget about her. Sometimes you hate yourself for being selfish, because she'll be happier liking who she wants to. The best and worst times are when you're hopeful. Then there are those times when you just don't know what to do...
And you tell yourself:
Just move on, idiot.
But you just can't.
Posted by
Dawn
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Made for Each Other
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comments
Made for Each Other – Realistically vs Idealistically
Opposites attract, or so they say. But do they really? The world renown MBTI (Myer-Briggs Type Indicator) portrays each individual as a certain personality type after a series of approximately 90 questions. First of all, if I could tell what kind of person you were in 90 questions, then I wouldn’t play the “20 questions” game anymore. Second of all, since these 90 questions are able to map out a person’s personality, or so they say, that means there are only 90 dimensions to a person, which A) Makes humans actually quite simple B) Implies only 90 distinct situations for a person to ever face a dilemma (Everything else is just a variation), and C) Renders quantum physics totally useless. I don’t know about you but I cannot fathom nor bend my mind around the idea of 90 dimensional space.
However, that’s not the main thing we’re concerned about. We’re talking about opposites attracting. In an earlier article we specified that there are 16 Myer-Briggs personality types. We also found through tedious and difficult calculations that a person will on average find 8.36 chances in love in a lifetime.
I avoided rounding down last time, but say we did. We would have 8.
So now we have the two numbers of 16 personality types and 8 chances. 16...8...16...8...Connection? Through complicated arithmetic methods and high level math, we will induce the fact, under several baseless assumptions, that we should divide the two numbers.
16/8 = 2.
2...2...2...In case you are number impaired, 2 is the number representation of what we would call in English, “a pair”.
We shall now notice (Note to the reader: Even if you don’t notice, pretend.), that the concept of opposites also follows the basis of “pairs”. Very convenient.
Since we have 16 MBTI types, splitting them into pairs would find all our opposites, and we will approach this systematically.
This is where I introduce the computer term of a “Hamming distance”. (Reference for the knowledge impaired: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamming_distance).
Now let’s take all our Myer-Briggs personality divisions.
E = Extrovert
I = Introvert
S = Sensing
N = Intuition
T = Thinking
F = Feeling
J = Judging
P = Perceiving
These are also conveniently paired up for us by the Myer-Briggs system.
E & I
S & N
T & F
J & P
If we allow the first letter of each grouping to have a binary value of 0, and the second letter to have a binary value of 1, we can compute our Hamming Distance, given the following personality types:
SP Types: (aka The Artisan)
ESTP (0001), ISTP (1001), ESFP (0011), ISFP (1011)
SJ Types: (aka The Guardian)
ESTJ (0000), ISTJ (1000), ESFJ (0010), ISFJ (1010)
NF Types: (aka The Idealist)
ENFJ (0110), INFJ (1110), ENFP (0111), INFP (1111)
NT Types: (aka The Rationalist)
ENTJ (0100), INTJ (1100), ENTP (0101), INTP (1101)
Now in order to find our “opposites” we will need to compute the Hamming distance of each pair, where our desired Hamming distance will be 4. In case you were too lazy to read the wiki reference, in short, Hamming distance is how “different” each binary value is to another. For every digit in the number that is different to the one it’s being compared to, you give an equivalent value of Hamming distance. So for example, the Hamming distance between 1000 and 0001 is 2, because they differ in two locations. (No worries, knowledge deficiency is a curable disease)
Since charts are a hassle and finding the pairing possibilities of 16 different elements is a hassle, I’ll just give you the Hamming distance and organize them conveniently into pairs for you.
We eventually find through my work and none of yours that we can pair the personality types as follows:
ESTP (0001) & INFJ (1110)
ISTP (1001) & ENFJ (0110)
ESFP (0011) & INTJ (1100)
ISFP (1011) & ENTJ (0100)
ESTJ (0000) & INFP (1111)
ISTJ (1000) & ENFP (0111)
ESFJ (0010) & INTP (1101)
ISFJ (1010) & ENTP (0101)
Now to the main course. Realistically versus Idealistically, if you ended up with someone of the “supposed” best match, what would life be like?
ESTP (0001) & INFJ (1110)
Idealistically:
The ESTP is described as a person who’s good at on-the-spot problem solving. They’re active people and enjoy anything that comes by. They tend to like mechanical things and sports. They are adaptable, tolerant, pragmatic, and focused on getting results. They dislike long explanations, are best with real things that can be worked, handled, taken apart, or put together.
The INFJ succeeds by perseverance, originality, and desire to do whatever is needed of wanted. They put their best efforts into anything they do. They are quietly forceful, conscientious, and concerned for others, all the while they are respected for their firm principles. An INFJ is likely to be honoured and followed for the clear visions as to how best to serve the common good.
Realistically:
The ESTP is described as a person who’s good at lying to you when they need to get out of a tight spot. They have extreme ADD and even if they’re walking down the street with you, they won’t hesitate to check out and look at other women or men (depending what gender you are, assuming you’re straight). They tend to like cars and would probably ditch you if a sports game ticket of any kind was included. They are easy to push around, but not fun to bully, perfectly fine knowing that some things are impossible, and don’t care how they get it, but want to get laid. They dislike you talking, and would prefer that you are a robot that they can do maintenance on.
The INFJ succeeds by nagging, clever nagging, and annoying nagging. They put their best efforts into being better than you. They are the type that can scare you with a glare, make sure you’re scared, and then console you when they’ve had their share of fun, all the while being respected out of fear of the iron fist. An INFJ is likely to be honoured and followed for the Hitler-like clarity and charisma as to how to serve the common good...of themselves.
Idealistically Together:
Anything the INFJ wants to do on an impulse can be figured out by the ESTP. If the INFJ wants to go to the mall, the ESTP will find a way. If the INFJ wants to get gas, the ESTP will find a way. However when it comes down to their hobbies, the ESTP may not always gets to do the things that it wants to do, because a lack of principles versus the INFJ’s firm principles. This is a relationship where there will be a clearly dominant character, most likely the INFJ due to their outlook and natural tendencies. However because of the ESTP’s tolerance and the INFJ’s concern for others, there will be little to no discord in the relationship.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Moderate.
Realistically Together:
Whoever is the ESTP in the relationship will receive my utmost pity. You are dominated, controlled, and whipped. However you can’t get out of it because the INFJ will bug you when you don’t want to listen to it, you’ll end up impulsively coming up with a lie, but it will be seen through by the INFJ’s clear vision. The ESTP will suffer, but yet at the same time from their standpoint they won’t mind, because they are extremely tolerant. The INFJ will beat you around like a rag doll and have loads of fun while the ESTP plays the part of a rag doll in a pathetic Shakespeare-like sadistic comedy.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Terrible for the ESTP. Loads of fun for the INFJ.
ISTP (1001) & ENFJ (0110)
Idealistically:
The ISTP is a cool onlooker. The ISTP is quiet, reserved, observing, and analyzes life with detached curiosity and unexpected flashes of original humour. They are usually interested in the causes and the effects, how and why mechanical things work, and in organizing facts using logical principles. They excel at getting to the core of a practical problem and finding the solution.
The ENFJ feels real concern for what others think of want, and try to handle things with due regard for the other’s feelings, and can present a proposal or lead a group discussion with ease and tact. They are sociable, popular, sympathetic, as well as responsive to praise and criticism. They like to facilitate others and enable people to achieve their potential.
Realistically:
The ISTP is the guy leaning on that railing with sunglasses. He’s the wise snappy person that appears in every movie that says one or two lines but somehow appears everywhere, anywhere, and at anytime in all possibilities. You think you know what’s up, but the ISTP is tricky, and just when you think you got it, he tells you you’re wrong and corrects you in a manner that sounds purely amazing using the ultimate logic also known as BS. However, his advice always works.
The ENFJ cares. No pretending. The ENFJ weaves his words so well you’ll be following him without knowing. They’ll talk, but they talk so well, you could’ve sworn he was puking gold nuggets. However, despite being incredibly caring, amazingly sociable and talkative, if you ignore the ENFJ, it’ll break. The ENFJ revolves around you. The ENFJ is like the real American Uncle Sam. He wants YOU, to fulfill your potential...in the army.
Idealistically Together:
The ENFJ and ISTP will get along, but nothing will happen. In fact, the lack of complementary natures between the two will actually create some discord. The ENFJ will try to evaluate relationship problems when there originally is none, while the ISTP will try to solicit the ENFJ into talking about what’s on the ENFJ’s mind, which is very little. There will be little interaction and conversation between the two and the ENFJ will feel a bit neglected.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Below average. This relationship will degrade until a mutual separation is agreed upon.
Realistically Together:
The ENFJ understands the ISTP even when he talks in riddles, incorrect Yoda-like grammar, circles, loops, squares, and many other types of polygonal methods of riddling and talking, because the ENFJ is a talker, and is practiced in the Art of Talking. There will be plenty of chemistry between the two. The ENFJ will be able to communicate serious or fun matters to the ISTP, while the ISTP will be able to insert wise and witty remarks to liven up the conversation as well as keep it going.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Talkative. The Government has recently funded a project to fund these couples with a special sign to warn by-passers: “Warning: Lots of talking. Wear earplugs.”
ESFP (0011) & INTJ (1100)
Idealistically:
ESFPs are outgoing, accepting, friendly, enjoy everything, and make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. They like action and making things happen. They know what’s going on and always join in eagerly. They also find that remembering facts is easier than mastering theories, and are best in situations that need sound common sense and practical ability with people.
The INTJ are people who have original minds and great drive for their own ideas and purpose. They have long-range vision and quickly find meaningful patterns in external events. In fields that appeal to them, they have a fine power to organize a job and carry it through. Their traits include being skeptical, critical, independent, determined, and having high standards of competence and performance.
Realistically:
ESFPs are the playmakers. They’re like real life Trivial Pursuit. Even though the ESFP may throw questions and trivia you wouldn’t know even if you used all three of your Who Wants to Be a Millionaire lifelines, you’ll laugh anyways and still be having fun, because the ESFP is so adept at making things fun that you will even openly accept that you’re an idiot for not knowing that it is the Moon and not the Elephant that revolves around the Earth. (Author’s note: Popular incident on the TV Show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” where the contestant could not answer a question about what object revolved around the Earth.) However, even if you don’t answer the ESFPs questions, the ESFP will answer his own questions, because he saw you having so much fun that he wanted to join in too.
The INTJ are people who come up with amazingly random stuff and have an incredible determination to make it happen. They are mental snipers, and can guess what you’re going to say next based on which birds flew by in the last 10 minutes. In fields that apply to them, they have a fine power to telepathically control others’ minds so the job gets done. They are skeptical, critical, independent, and determined because they can read your mind and know what’s really going on in your head. They also have a superiority complex because they think they were born with special powers.
Idealistically Together:
The INTJ will know his or her own purpose, while the ESFP will constantly want to join in. However, the INTJ usually never believes nor trusts the ESFP since the ESFP bases most decisions and comments on common sense, while the INTJ is more likely to evaluate the situation for an answer. They will not get along, but the ESFP will think otherwise. This relationship would not get very far.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: This is like one of those “dog and master” relationships. The INTJ is the master, the ESFP is the dog.
Realistically Together:
The ESFP is like the INTJ’s personal entertainer. The ESFP is full of so much information that in the course of entertaining the INTJ, the INTJ will suddenly undergo a revelation, and have a sudden burst of inspiration, and will leave the ESFP in the dust. However, the ESFP will continue to say entertaining facts, and then after he notices that he has no audience, he’ll put on a one person play where he is both the host and the audience, because he thought being an audience member would add more fun.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: The ESFP is like the Royalty’s greatest jester. Also dismissible at any time.
ISFP (1011) & ENTJ (0100)
Idealistically:
The ISFP is retiring, quietly friendly, sensitive, kind, and modest about their abilities. They shun disagreements, and do not force their opinions or values on others. ISFPs usually do not care to lead but are often loyal followers. They are often relaxed about getting things done because they enjoy the present moment and do not want to spoil it by undue haste of exertion.
ENTJs are frank, decision leaders in activities. They develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. They are good in anything that requires reasoning and intelligent talk, such as public speaking, and are usually well informed and enjoy adding to the fund of knowledge.
Realistically:
The ISFP is a nice person, and also very chill. They could probably move a mountain if it was in your way, but it would take so painstakingly long you would just walk around, but the ISFP is okay with that too, because they’re chill people. Popular locations to go ISFP-watching include all places labelled as a “resort” by public demand.
ENTJs are really bossy. Even still, they’ll blow your mind as to how well they can get the work done if you ask them about it. In other words, they’ve got a computer, and they know how to use Microsoft Excel. They just got this huge Excel Spreadsheet and plug in numbers and they can tell you the answer. Looks amazing, but they themselves know they wish they were better.
Idealistically Together:
The greatest team. The ISFP is able to follow directions correctly and that makes the ENTJ happy. However, the ENTJ is so focused and content with doing work that he won’t notice the ISFP as a partner in love, but more as a colleague. On the other hand, the ISFP will kindly make great contributions to the ENTJ’s work, and is also content in doing so, but will always secretly desire to be more noticed.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: One-sided.
Realistically Together:
A typical conversation between an ISFP and an ENTJ would just be a string of uh’s, uhm’s, hm’s, and all other “filler” words. The ISFP will also be blushing this entire time while the ENTJ can’t wait to get back to the Bat Lair...aka the computer lab. Eventually after a very long silence, the ENTJ will ask for a number, the ISFP will be flustered, and once the ENTJ returns home, he’ll add the number to his database of 9000 other numbers.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: One-sided and absolutely lacking in any chemistry whatsoever.
ESTJ (0000) & INFP (1111)
Idealistically:
The ESTJ is practical, realistic, and matter-of-fact, with a natural head for business or mechanics. They are not interested in abstract theories and want learning to have direct and immediate application. They like to organize and run activities and often make good administrators. They are decisive, and are quick to implement decisions and take care of routine details.
INFPs are quiet observers, idealistic, and loyal. They find it important that outer life be congruent with inner values. They are curious and quick to see possibilities, and often serve as catalysts to implement ideas. They are adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened. They want to understand people and the ways of fulfilling human potential. They have little concern with possessions or surroundings.
Realistically:
The ESTJ has an incredibly thick skull. They are not interested in things where they have to bend their mind, because they can’t, because their skull takes up too much room for any bending to occur. They want everything straight. In a line. Forward. They are good at getting the kids to play Capture the Flag and make good parents. However, they know when things go wrong, and won’t hesitate to drop down the discipline hammer. They’ll listen to your fabricated BS story later.
INFPs are shy. So incredibly shy. However they have their personal set of Commandments that no one can break. They are like a Jedi’s teacher, as well as a Jedi in themselves. They would be good educators.
Idealistically Together:
The ESTJ and INFP lack a common ground in thinking. Where the ESTJ wants to be practical, the INFP is idealistic. Where the ESTJ is matter-of-fact, the INFP will refuse to do or believe something if it infringes on their values. The only thing these two have going for them would be on the free-thinking level where the INFP has great ideas and the ESTJ can carry them through.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Perfect...if you plan on running a corporate level super-company where you need an accomplice.
Realistically Together:
This relationship is solid, as long as it’s based around the kids. The more kids the better, because the ESTJ loves kids, and so does the INFP. This is a very old-fashioned relationship though (the stereotypical one that feminists get oh-so-offended by nowadays), where one stays home as the house manager, and the other does all the salary work. One of them comes home and it’s “Welcome home darling, how was your day”, and the other responds “I’m gonna watch TV, tell me when dinner’s done”.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Makes a good family, but not great if it doesn’t reach family status.
ISTJ (1000) & ENFP (0111)
Idealistically:
People of the ISTJ type are serious, quiet, and earn success by concentration and thoroughness. They are practical, orderly, matter-of fact, logical, realistic, and dependable. They see to it that everything is well organized and take responsibility. They make up their own minds as to what should be accomplished and work toward it steadily, regardless of protests or distractions.
The ENFP type is warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, and imaginative. They are able to do almost anything that interests them. They are quick with a solution for any difficulty and are ready to help anyone with a problem. ENFPs often rely on their ability to improvise instead of preparing in advance, and can usually find compelling reasons for whatever they want.
Realistically:
People of the ISTJ most likely have small eyes, because of squinting too much due to concentration. They are perfectionists and have binoculars for eyes to make sure that everything is squared away to an accuracy of hundredths of a millimetre. They make up their owns minds as to what should be square and what should be circular, and will begin shaping the clay in such a way they see fit, regardless of what Simon Cowell or a resident home designer says.
The ENFP type is cuddly, and likes to think of different ways to cuddle. They’ll find ways to cuddle in the most impossible ways. If your teddy bear is missing, the ENFP will be able to solve the issue in a matter of seconds through improvisation of a new cuddling method with either a new toy, or even themselves. They can usually find compelling reasons to cuddle as well. The ENFP is a living teddy bear.
Idealistically Together:
The level these two complement each other is beyond the charts; to infinity and beyond another infinity. The ISTJ is a responsible and dependable character while the ENFP can easily motivate themselves and others, as well as helps other with their issues. There is very little discord in this relationship and will mostly be all smiles. Almost too much smiling. Just pray you both have good looking teeth.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Lots of chemistry for an ENFP & ISTJ couple.
Realistically Together:
The ENFP’s methods of cuddling will be limited to basic geometric shapes due to the ISTJ’s nature, however, the ENFP is bound to find a way around this. The ENFP will redefine the ways people have viewed squares and circles and will eventually invent the Art of Cuddling. Quite like the Kama Sutra just not as graphic.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Although the ISTJ will be hard to work with, the ENFP will make it happen.
ESFJ (0010) & INTP (1101)
Idealistically:
The ESFJ is warm-hearted, talkative, popular, conscientious, and are born co-operators and committee members. They need harmony and may be good at creating it. They are always doing something nice for someone and work best with encouragement and praise. Their main interest is in things that directly and visibly affect people’s lives.
INTP are quiet and reserved, and especially enjoy theoretical or scientific pursuits, like solving problems with logic and analysis. They are interested mainly in ideas, with little liking for parties or small talk. They tend to have sharply defined interests and need careers where some strong interest can be used and useful.
Realistically:
The ESFJ is an attention whore. However they don’t revolve around attention and can live during the attention drought seasons still. The ESFJ may be a narcissist, but a good one, who finds gratification in helping others. In loving others, the ESFJ will love itself more, because it feels it deserves the love for being so good at helping.
The INTP are like the quiet geniuses. They don’t care about what you ate for dinner, or what’s “hot” and what is “so 5 minutes ago”. Rather they are more interested in what is “so 5 minutes from now”. Their common hobbies include occult divination because predicting the future is serious business.
Idealistically Together:
Although the ESFJ may not be on par with the INTP on levels of thought, the INTP will motivate the ESFJ to step it up, and ultimately the ESFJ will seek to be able to help the INTP in all matters that the INTP thinks of. This will be a good relationship where each complements each other well and causes the other to strive for greater heights.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: More like a rivalry, but hey, things could happen.
Realistically Together:
Although the ESFJ may try to help the INTP in all cases possible, the ESFJ is ultimately useless, because first of all, the ESFJ has no future telling talents, and second of all, because the INTP doesn’t really need any help, because the INTP is just that pro. The ESFJ will be like the jumping chimpanzee at the zoo that strives for attention.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Depressing for the ESFJ. The INTP couldn’t care a penny’s worth though.
ISFJ (1010) & ENTP (0101)
Idealistically:
The ISFJ is quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. They work devotedly to meet their obligations and lend stability to any project or group. They are thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Their interests are usually not technical. They are also patient with necessary details. They are loyal, considerate, perceptive, and concerned with how other people feel.
ENTPs are quick, ingenious, and good at many things. They are stimulating company and are alert and outspoken. They may argue for fun on either side of a question. They are resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignment. They are apt to turn to one new interest after another, and are skilful in finding logical reasons for what they want.
Realistically:
The ISFJ just slaves away at work. They are like the pyramid builders the Egyptians employed. They have to make sure they place every block in the right spot, otherwise the people who plan and overlook the project will whip them and take away their daily meal of a bread slice and two drops of water. However, they need to do it for minimum wage to feed themselves and their family. Good thing all of this doesn’t apply to the modern age. In the modern age, the ISFJ ... refer to above.
The ENTP is like a Martian, or a genetically modified child. It’s not possible for someone to be good at so many things. ENTPs secretly hold various cult secrets, and are probably not from this planet. They are here to kill some Aliens as spending their leisure time. They like playing and messing with the heads of homo sapiens. ENTPs also have cultural and mental issues, as all the other 15 personality types would not find it reasonable, understandable, or common sense to argue on both sides of an argument. They also have the most prominent issue of ADD, as they will turn to one new interest after another, and are skilful in finding logical reasons for what they want.
Idealistically Together:
The ISFJ and ENTP are a rough match and a tough call. They can either be full complementary, or absolutely in discord. Where the ENTP overlooks minute details, the ISFJ may pick them up. Where the ISFJ maybe not have technical interests, the ENTP may be able to patch them up. There may be sufficient emotional conduct between the two, or it may degrade to a polar opposite extremity.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Risky. Extremely risky. It’s safer to mug a SWAT officer.
Realistically Together:
The ENTP is the reason why communism exists. They gave the slaves technologies out of this world, and then the slaves gained enough power to overthrow the aristocratic level of society. The ENTP is why the world is messed up, and the ISFJ acts as the ENTP’s catalyst to mess up the world even further. In short, they are accomplices in crime.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Teamwork to achieve great things...for the two of them and terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE things for the rest.
And there you have it. The evaluation of opposites. Now the question you will have to ask yourself is despite the fact that holistically some if not all of the situations do not appeal, they somehow work out in real life. So do not let this discourage any of you. Cause you still have 7.36 chances remaining.
For the books, I have taken this test twice because of some twisted fate and I am an ENTP.
For additional reference you may want to read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
http://typelogic.com/
http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html
Opposites attract, or so they say. But do they really? The world renown MBTI (Myer-Briggs Type Indicator) portrays each individual as a certain personality type after a series of approximately 90 questions. First of all, if I could tell what kind of person you were in 90 questions, then I wouldn’t play the “20 questions” game anymore. Second of all, since these 90 questions are able to map out a person’s personality, or so they say, that means there are only 90 dimensions to a person, which A) Makes humans actually quite simple B) Implies only 90 distinct situations for a person to ever face a dilemma (Everything else is just a variation), and C) Renders quantum physics totally useless. I don’t know about you but I cannot fathom nor bend my mind around the idea of 90 dimensional space.
However, that’s not the main thing we’re concerned about. We’re talking about opposites attracting. In an earlier article we specified that there are 16 Myer-Briggs personality types. We also found through tedious and difficult calculations that a person will on average find 8.36 chances in love in a lifetime.
I avoided rounding down last time, but say we did. We would have 8.
So now we have the two numbers of 16 personality types and 8 chances. 16...8...16...8...Connection? Through complicated arithmetic methods and high level math, we will induce the fact, under several baseless assumptions, that we should divide the two numbers.
16/8 = 2.
2...2...2...In case you are number impaired, 2 is the number representation of what we would call in English, “a pair”.
We shall now notice (Note to the reader: Even if you don’t notice, pretend.), that the concept of opposites also follows the basis of “pairs”. Very convenient.
Since we have 16 MBTI types, splitting them into pairs would find all our opposites, and we will approach this systematically.
This is where I introduce the computer term of a “Hamming distance”. (Reference for the knowledge impaired: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamming_distance).
Now let’s take all our Myer-Briggs personality divisions.
E = Extrovert
I = Introvert
S = Sensing
N = Intuition
T = Thinking
F = Feeling
J = Judging
P = Perceiving
These are also conveniently paired up for us by the Myer-Briggs system.
E & I
S & N
T & F
J & P
If we allow the first letter of each grouping to have a binary value of 0, and the second letter to have a binary value of 1, we can compute our Hamming Distance, given the following personality types:
SP Types: (aka The Artisan)
ESTP (0001), ISTP (1001), ESFP (0011), ISFP (1011)
SJ Types: (aka The Guardian)
ESTJ (0000), ISTJ (1000), ESFJ (0010), ISFJ (1010)
NF Types: (aka The Idealist)
ENFJ (0110), INFJ (1110), ENFP (0111), INFP (1111)
NT Types: (aka The Rationalist)
ENTJ (0100), INTJ (1100), ENTP (0101), INTP (1101)
Now in order to find our “opposites” we will need to compute the Hamming distance of each pair, where our desired Hamming distance will be 4. In case you were too lazy to read the wiki reference, in short, Hamming distance is how “different” each binary value is to another. For every digit in the number that is different to the one it’s being compared to, you give an equivalent value of Hamming distance. So for example, the Hamming distance between 1000 and 0001 is 2, because they differ in two locations. (No worries, knowledge deficiency is a curable disease)
Since charts are a hassle and finding the pairing possibilities of 16 different elements is a hassle, I’ll just give you the Hamming distance and organize them conveniently into pairs for you.
We eventually find through my work and none of yours that we can pair the personality types as follows:
ESTP (0001) & INFJ (1110)
ISTP (1001) & ENFJ (0110)
ESFP (0011) & INTJ (1100)
ISFP (1011) & ENTJ (0100)
ESTJ (0000) & INFP (1111)
ISTJ (1000) & ENFP (0111)
ESFJ (0010) & INTP (1101)
ISFJ (1010) & ENTP (0101)
Now to the main course. Realistically versus Idealistically, if you ended up with someone of the “supposed” best match, what would life be like?
ESTP (0001) & INFJ (1110)
Idealistically:
The ESTP is described as a person who’s good at on-the-spot problem solving. They’re active people and enjoy anything that comes by. They tend to like mechanical things and sports. They are adaptable, tolerant, pragmatic, and focused on getting results. They dislike long explanations, are best with real things that can be worked, handled, taken apart, or put together.
The INFJ succeeds by perseverance, originality, and desire to do whatever is needed of wanted. They put their best efforts into anything they do. They are quietly forceful, conscientious, and concerned for others, all the while they are respected for their firm principles. An INFJ is likely to be honoured and followed for the clear visions as to how best to serve the common good.
Realistically:
The ESTP is described as a person who’s good at lying to you when they need to get out of a tight spot. They have extreme ADD and even if they’re walking down the street with you, they won’t hesitate to check out and look at other women or men (depending what gender you are, assuming you’re straight). They tend to like cars and would probably ditch you if a sports game ticket of any kind was included. They are easy to push around, but not fun to bully, perfectly fine knowing that some things are impossible, and don’t care how they get it, but want to get laid. They dislike you talking, and would prefer that you are a robot that they can do maintenance on.
The INFJ succeeds by nagging, clever nagging, and annoying nagging. They put their best efforts into being better than you. They are the type that can scare you with a glare, make sure you’re scared, and then console you when they’ve had their share of fun, all the while being respected out of fear of the iron fist. An INFJ is likely to be honoured and followed for the Hitler-like clarity and charisma as to how to serve the common good...of themselves.
Idealistically Together:
Anything the INFJ wants to do on an impulse can be figured out by the ESTP. If the INFJ wants to go to the mall, the ESTP will find a way. If the INFJ wants to get gas, the ESTP will find a way. However when it comes down to their hobbies, the ESTP may not always gets to do the things that it wants to do, because a lack of principles versus the INFJ’s firm principles. This is a relationship where there will be a clearly dominant character, most likely the INFJ due to their outlook and natural tendencies. However because of the ESTP’s tolerance and the INFJ’s concern for others, there will be little to no discord in the relationship.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Moderate.
Realistically Together:
Whoever is the ESTP in the relationship will receive my utmost pity. You are dominated, controlled, and whipped. However you can’t get out of it because the INFJ will bug you when you don’t want to listen to it, you’ll end up impulsively coming up with a lie, but it will be seen through by the INFJ’s clear vision. The ESTP will suffer, but yet at the same time from their standpoint they won’t mind, because they are extremely tolerant. The INFJ will beat you around like a rag doll and have loads of fun while the ESTP plays the part of a rag doll in a pathetic Shakespeare-like sadistic comedy.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Terrible for the ESTP. Loads of fun for the INFJ.
ISTP (1001) & ENFJ (0110)
Idealistically:
The ISTP is a cool onlooker. The ISTP is quiet, reserved, observing, and analyzes life with detached curiosity and unexpected flashes of original humour. They are usually interested in the causes and the effects, how and why mechanical things work, and in organizing facts using logical principles. They excel at getting to the core of a practical problem and finding the solution.
The ENFJ feels real concern for what others think of want, and try to handle things with due regard for the other’s feelings, and can present a proposal or lead a group discussion with ease and tact. They are sociable, popular, sympathetic, as well as responsive to praise and criticism. They like to facilitate others and enable people to achieve their potential.
Realistically:
The ISTP is the guy leaning on that railing with sunglasses. He’s the wise snappy person that appears in every movie that says one or two lines but somehow appears everywhere, anywhere, and at anytime in all possibilities. You think you know what’s up, but the ISTP is tricky, and just when you think you got it, he tells you you’re wrong and corrects you in a manner that sounds purely amazing using the ultimate logic also known as BS. However, his advice always works.
The ENFJ cares. No pretending. The ENFJ weaves his words so well you’ll be following him without knowing. They’ll talk, but they talk so well, you could’ve sworn he was puking gold nuggets. However, despite being incredibly caring, amazingly sociable and talkative, if you ignore the ENFJ, it’ll break. The ENFJ revolves around you. The ENFJ is like the real American Uncle Sam. He wants YOU, to fulfill your potential...in the army.
Idealistically Together:
The ENFJ and ISTP will get along, but nothing will happen. In fact, the lack of complementary natures between the two will actually create some discord. The ENFJ will try to evaluate relationship problems when there originally is none, while the ISTP will try to solicit the ENFJ into talking about what’s on the ENFJ’s mind, which is very little. There will be little interaction and conversation between the two and the ENFJ will feel a bit neglected.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Below average. This relationship will degrade until a mutual separation is agreed upon.
Realistically Together:
The ENFJ understands the ISTP even when he talks in riddles, incorrect Yoda-like grammar, circles, loops, squares, and many other types of polygonal methods of riddling and talking, because the ENFJ is a talker, and is practiced in the Art of Talking. There will be plenty of chemistry between the two. The ENFJ will be able to communicate serious or fun matters to the ISTP, while the ISTP will be able to insert wise and witty remarks to liven up the conversation as well as keep it going.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Talkative. The Government has recently funded a project to fund these couples with a special sign to warn by-passers: “Warning: Lots of talking. Wear earplugs.”
ESFP (0011) & INTJ (1100)
Idealistically:
ESFPs are outgoing, accepting, friendly, enjoy everything, and make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. They like action and making things happen. They know what’s going on and always join in eagerly. They also find that remembering facts is easier than mastering theories, and are best in situations that need sound common sense and practical ability with people.
The INTJ are people who have original minds and great drive for their own ideas and purpose. They have long-range vision and quickly find meaningful patterns in external events. In fields that appeal to them, they have a fine power to organize a job and carry it through. Their traits include being skeptical, critical, independent, determined, and having high standards of competence and performance.
Realistically:
ESFPs are the playmakers. They’re like real life Trivial Pursuit. Even though the ESFP may throw questions and trivia you wouldn’t know even if you used all three of your Who Wants to Be a Millionaire lifelines, you’ll laugh anyways and still be having fun, because the ESFP is so adept at making things fun that you will even openly accept that you’re an idiot for not knowing that it is the Moon and not the Elephant that revolves around the Earth. (Author’s note: Popular incident on the TV Show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” where the contestant could not answer a question about what object revolved around the Earth.) However, even if you don’t answer the ESFPs questions, the ESFP will answer his own questions, because he saw you having so much fun that he wanted to join in too.
The INTJ are people who come up with amazingly random stuff and have an incredible determination to make it happen. They are mental snipers, and can guess what you’re going to say next based on which birds flew by in the last 10 minutes. In fields that apply to them, they have a fine power to telepathically control others’ minds so the job gets done. They are skeptical, critical, independent, and determined because they can read your mind and know what’s really going on in your head. They also have a superiority complex because they think they were born with special powers.
Idealistically Together:
The INTJ will know his or her own purpose, while the ESFP will constantly want to join in. However, the INTJ usually never believes nor trusts the ESFP since the ESFP bases most decisions and comments on common sense, while the INTJ is more likely to evaluate the situation for an answer. They will not get along, but the ESFP will think otherwise. This relationship would not get very far.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: This is like one of those “dog and master” relationships. The INTJ is the master, the ESFP is the dog.
Realistically Together:
The ESFP is like the INTJ’s personal entertainer. The ESFP is full of so much information that in the course of entertaining the INTJ, the INTJ will suddenly undergo a revelation, and have a sudden burst of inspiration, and will leave the ESFP in the dust. However, the ESFP will continue to say entertaining facts, and then after he notices that he has no audience, he’ll put on a one person play where he is both the host and the audience, because he thought being an audience member would add more fun.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: The ESFP is like the Royalty’s greatest jester. Also dismissible at any time.
ISFP (1011) & ENTJ (0100)
Idealistically:
The ISFP is retiring, quietly friendly, sensitive, kind, and modest about their abilities. They shun disagreements, and do not force their opinions or values on others. ISFPs usually do not care to lead but are often loyal followers. They are often relaxed about getting things done because they enjoy the present moment and do not want to spoil it by undue haste of exertion.
ENTJs are frank, decision leaders in activities. They develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. They are good in anything that requires reasoning and intelligent talk, such as public speaking, and are usually well informed and enjoy adding to the fund of knowledge.
Realistically:
The ISFP is a nice person, and also very chill. They could probably move a mountain if it was in your way, but it would take so painstakingly long you would just walk around, but the ISFP is okay with that too, because they’re chill people. Popular locations to go ISFP-watching include all places labelled as a “resort” by public demand.
ENTJs are really bossy. Even still, they’ll blow your mind as to how well they can get the work done if you ask them about it. In other words, they’ve got a computer, and they know how to use Microsoft Excel. They just got this huge Excel Spreadsheet and plug in numbers and they can tell you the answer. Looks amazing, but they themselves know they wish they were better.
Idealistically Together:
The greatest team. The ISFP is able to follow directions correctly and that makes the ENTJ happy. However, the ENTJ is so focused and content with doing work that he won’t notice the ISFP as a partner in love, but more as a colleague. On the other hand, the ISFP will kindly make great contributions to the ENTJ’s work, and is also content in doing so, but will always secretly desire to be more noticed.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: One-sided.
Realistically Together:
A typical conversation between an ISFP and an ENTJ would just be a string of uh’s, uhm’s, hm’s, and all other “filler” words. The ISFP will also be blushing this entire time while the ENTJ can’t wait to get back to the Bat Lair...aka the computer lab. Eventually after a very long silence, the ENTJ will ask for a number, the ISFP will be flustered, and once the ENTJ returns home, he’ll add the number to his database of 9000 other numbers.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: One-sided and absolutely lacking in any chemistry whatsoever.
ESTJ (0000) & INFP (1111)
Idealistically:
The ESTJ is practical, realistic, and matter-of-fact, with a natural head for business or mechanics. They are not interested in abstract theories and want learning to have direct and immediate application. They like to organize and run activities and often make good administrators. They are decisive, and are quick to implement decisions and take care of routine details.
INFPs are quiet observers, idealistic, and loyal. They find it important that outer life be congruent with inner values. They are curious and quick to see possibilities, and often serve as catalysts to implement ideas. They are adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened. They want to understand people and the ways of fulfilling human potential. They have little concern with possessions or surroundings.
Realistically:
The ESTJ has an incredibly thick skull. They are not interested in things where they have to bend their mind, because they can’t, because their skull takes up too much room for any bending to occur. They want everything straight. In a line. Forward. They are good at getting the kids to play Capture the Flag and make good parents. However, they know when things go wrong, and won’t hesitate to drop down the discipline hammer. They’ll listen to your fabricated BS story later.
INFPs are shy. So incredibly shy. However they have their personal set of Commandments that no one can break. They are like a Jedi’s teacher, as well as a Jedi in themselves. They would be good educators.
Idealistically Together:
The ESTJ and INFP lack a common ground in thinking. Where the ESTJ wants to be practical, the INFP is idealistic. Where the ESTJ is matter-of-fact, the INFP will refuse to do or believe something if it infringes on their values. The only thing these two have going for them would be on the free-thinking level where the INFP has great ideas and the ESTJ can carry them through.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Perfect...if you plan on running a corporate level super-company where you need an accomplice.
Realistically Together:
This relationship is solid, as long as it’s based around the kids. The more kids the better, because the ESTJ loves kids, and so does the INFP. This is a very old-fashioned relationship though (the stereotypical one that feminists get oh-so-offended by nowadays), where one stays home as the house manager, and the other does all the salary work. One of them comes home and it’s “Welcome home darling, how was your day”, and the other responds “I’m gonna watch TV, tell me when dinner’s done”.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Makes a good family, but not great if it doesn’t reach family status.
ISTJ (1000) & ENFP (0111)
Idealistically:
People of the ISTJ type are serious, quiet, and earn success by concentration and thoroughness. They are practical, orderly, matter-of fact, logical, realistic, and dependable. They see to it that everything is well organized and take responsibility. They make up their own minds as to what should be accomplished and work toward it steadily, regardless of protests or distractions.
The ENFP type is warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, and imaginative. They are able to do almost anything that interests them. They are quick with a solution for any difficulty and are ready to help anyone with a problem. ENFPs often rely on their ability to improvise instead of preparing in advance, and can usually find compelling reasons for whatever they want.
Realistically:
People of the ISTJ most likely have small eyes, because of squinting too much due to concentration. They are perfectionists and have binoculars for eyes to make sure that everything is squared away to an accuracy of hundredths of a millimetre. They make up their owns minds as to what should be square and what should be circular, and will begin shaping the clay in such a way they see fit, regardless of what Simon Cowell or a resident home designer says.
The ENFP type is cuddly, and likes to think of different ways to cuddle. They’ll find ways to cuddle in the most impossible ways. If your teddy bear is missing, the ENFP will be able to solve the issue in a matter of seconds through improvisation of a new cuddling method with either a new toy, or even themselves. They can usually find compelling reasons to cuddle as well. The ENFP is a living teddy bear.
Idealistically Together:
The level these two complement each other is beyond the charts; to infinity and beyond another infinity. The ISTJ is a responsible and dependable character while the ENFP can easily motivate themselves and others, as well as helps other with their issues. There is very little discord in this relationship and will mostly be all smiles. Almost too much smiling. Just pray you both have good looking teeth.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Lots of chemistry for an ENFP & ISTJ couple.
Realistically Together:
The ENFP’s methods of cuddling will be limited to basic geometric shapes due to the ISTJ’s nature, however, the ENFP is bound to find a way around this. The ENFP will redefine the ways people have viewed squares and circles and will eventually invent the Art of Cuddling. Quite like the Kama Sutra just not as graphic.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Although the ISTJ will be hard to work with, the ENFP will make it happen.
ESFJ (0010) & INTP (1101)
Idealistically:
The ESFJ is warm-hearted, talkative, popular, conscientious, and are born co-operators and committee members. They need harmony and may be good at creating it. They are always doing something nice for someone and work best with encouragement and praise. Their main interest is in things that directly and visibly affect people’s lives.
INTP are quiet and reserved, and especially enjoy theoretical or scientific pursuits, like solving problems with logic and analysis. They are interested mainly in ideas, with little liking for parties or small talk. They tend to have sharply defined interests and need careers where some strong interest can be used and useful.
Realistically:
The ESFJ is an attention whore. However they don’t revolve around attention and can live during the attention drought seasons still. The ESFJ may be a narcissist, but a good one, who finds gratification in helping others. In loving others, the ESFJ will love itself more, because it feels it deserves the love for being so good at helping.
The INTP are like the quiet geniuses. They don’t care about what you ate for dinner, or what’s “hot” and what is “so 5 minutes ago”. Rather they are more interested in what is “so 5 minutes from now”. Their common hobbies include occult divination because predicting the future is serious business.
Idealistically Together:
Although the ESFJ may not be on par with the INTP on levels of thought, the INTP will motivate the ESFJ to step it up, and ultimately the ESFJ will seek to be able to help the INTP in all matters that the INTP thinks of. This will be a good relationship where each complements each other well and causes the other to strive for greater heights.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: More like a rivalry, but hey, things could happen.
Realistically Together:
Although the ESFJ may try to help the INTP in all cases possible, the ESFJ is ultimately useless, because first of all, the ESFJ has no future telling talents, and second of all, because the INTP doesn’t really need any help, because the INTP is just that pro. The ESFJ will be like the jumping chimpanzee at the zoo that strives for attention.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Depressing for the ESFJ. The INTP couldn’t care a penny’s worth though.
ISFJ (1010) & ENTP (0101)
Idealistically:
The ISFJ is quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. They work devotedly to meet their obligations and lend stability to any project or group. They are thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Their interests are usually not technical. They are also patient with necessary details. They are loyal, considerate, perceptive, and concerned with how other people feel.
ENTPs are quick, ingenious, and good at many things. They are stimulating company and are alert and outspoken. They may argue for fun on either side of a question. They are resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignment. They are apt to turn to one new interest after another, and are skilful in finding logical reasons for what they want.
Realistically:
The ISFJ just slaves away at work. They are like the pyramid builders the Egyptians employed. They have to make sure they place every block in the right spot, otherwise the people who plan and overlook the project will whip them and take away their daily meal of a bread slice and two drops of water. However, they need to do it for minimum wage to feed themselves and their family. Good thing all of this doesn’t apply to the modern age. In the modern age, the ISFJ ... refer to above.
The ENTP is like a Martian, or a genetically modified child. It’s not possible for someone to be good at so many things. ENTPs secretly hold various cult secrets, and are probably not from this planet. They are here to kill some Aliens as spending their leisure time. They like playing and messing with the heads of homo sapiens. ENTPs also have cultural and mental issues, as all the other 15 personality types would not find it reasonable, understandable, or common sense to argue on both sides of an argument. They also have the most prominent issue of ADD, as they will turn to one new interest after another, and are skilful in finding logical reasons for what they want.
Idealistically Together:
The ISFJ and ENTP are a rough match and a tough call. They can either be full complementary, or absolutely in discord. Where the ENTP overlooks minute details, the ISFJ may pick them up. Where the ISFJ maybe not have technical interests, the ENTP may be able to patch them up. There may be sufficient emotional conduct between the two, or it may degrade to a polar opposite extremity.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Risky. Extremely risky. It’s safer to mug a SWAT officer.
Realistically Together:
The ENTP is the reason why communism exists. They gave the slaves technologies out of this world, and then the slaves gained enough power to overthrow the aristocratic level of society. The ENTP is why the world is messed up, and the ISFJ acts as the ENTP’s catalyst to mess up the world even further. In short, they are accomplices in crime.
The Going Nowhere Relationship Rating: Teamwork to achieve great things...for the two of them and terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE things for the rest.
And there you have it. The evaluation of opposites. Now the question you will have to ask yourself is despite the fact that holistically some if not all of the situations do not appeal, they somehow work out in real life. So do not let this discourage any of you. Cause you still have 7.36 chances remaining.
For the books, I have taken this test twice because of some twisted fate and I am an ENTP.
For additional reference you may want to read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
http://typelogic.com/
http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html
Posted by
Dawn
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I Know I Don’t Know You...Yet. But I Still Want You So bad.
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I Know I Don’t Know You...Yet. But I Still Want You So bad.
Ever wonder what your chances are in love? Here’s the mathematical interpretation rather than trusting the ads on your porno website.
Given:
-There are 6.5 billion people on the planet
-There is approximately 150 million square kilometres of surface area (Excluding bodies of water)
Then we have approximately 43.3 ppl/km2
By the 6 degrees of separation, the 43 people can be divided up as.
1 + 6 + 62 = 43
(Convenient, no?)
Where 1 is yourself, 6 is the “primary echelon” of people immediate to you, and 62 is the second echelon of acquaintances. In simple terms, you have you, people you know, and people that your people know.
Now Assume the following conditions:
-You are male
-You aren’t gay. Which therefore implies that you don’t have a skewered percentage of acquaintances of the same gender.
-You aren’t emo nor anti-social
-50% of the population is female, so therefore implying (hopefully) that 50% of your acquaintances are female
-All above conditions apply to the remaining people with the exception of the first condition.
Then we have a chart in which:
One male knows
-3 males
-3 females
And each of those 6 people know the same ratio and number of people
Thus you have 3 immediate female acquaintances, and 18 indirect female acquaintances.
Once again in simple terms, you know 3 girls, and potentially know 18 others.
And keep in mind we are sampling 1 square kilometre of approximately 43.3 persons.
Now by Zodiac signs (12) and Celestial Symbols (12), you are compatible with one-sixth of each chart. So the chances of you being absolutely compatible is 1 out of 36. The chances of being compatible with one of the 21 females is then 21/36 = 58.3%.
Now let the chance of you being introduced to the 18 other girls as 18/43 = 41.9%
So now we can implement Bayes’ Theorem to find the probability of YOU liking ONE girl.
Bayes’ law states
P(A|B) = P(B|A) x P(A) / P(B)
Refer to Wikipedia for a more detailed explanation of the terms.
So let A = Liking and B = Being introduced
We must also take the sufficiently dominant 16 possible personality traits as defined by the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and find that approximately 1/10 people will be of the “pimpin’ playa” type.
So we gain our last value of the chance of you being introduced to someone you like as 3/10 or 30%.
So now we take the equation and plug in our values:
58.3% = 30% x P(A) / 41.9%
After we solve we find that the chance of liking an individual in the sample size of 21 is approximately 81.4%. (Quite high)
So the chance that you are insured to harbour affection for a female individual must be 21/81.4% which is approximately 25.7. But since the value of a female always rounds down because 0.7 of a girl is just unthinkable, we shall round that number down to 25.
Therefore a sample size of 25 females will insure you like at least one of them.
To achieve that sample size we must re-consider our population density to be 43 x 25 / 21. About 51 ppl/km2.
Now a person’s average lifespan is found to be 80 years, assuming wellbeing of health and surroundings.
Statistics display that that a person may stay in one place for on average 6 years. Which results in approximately 13 locations.
Simple arithmetic yields 21 x 13 = 273. So in one’s lifetime a person should get to know about 273 women.
However, regressive factors such as age and various others will substantially reduce this number. For every 10 years and location, the acquaintances will degrade from the maximum of 21 to 1 from age 0 to age 80.
This produces several phases and intermediates. By calculation, we find this number to be 19. So now we have that, by arithmetic sum, we find that our life’s sample size is decreased from 273 to 209.
Therefore, we now have a solution in which for a standard lifetime in which you get to know and be acquainted with 209 females, you will like and have a chance with 209/25, or 8.36 of them.
We will keep this answer to 3 significant figures to simulate error and probability and will avoid rounding down.
Disclaimer: This will only apply under standard general conditions. This estimate may or may not apply to your life. You may be better off, or you might just be doomed for life. Additionally, the phrasing of “liking and having a chance with” does not imply that it has a 100% chance of success. Rather, the phrasing means that if you feel that you’ve passed up so many chances already, just give up.
Author’s Note: Free E-cookie if you guess the title’s song reference.
Posted by
Dawn
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