4 Leaf Clevers For Sale

I would really love to see an ad like that, because that's exactly what I've been looking for. A 4 Leaf Clever.

I would go out of my way to buy one because I desperately need one so bad. Unfortunately no one seems to find these, or even look for them anymore, and most of the people that do find one keep it to themselves.

Although I myself must also plead guilty. I have not put in much effort to finding this mythical plant either. It eludes me, but I've given up on it. At times the naivety of a child allows you to spend hours on end searching for one, and the mere suspense of the search puts your hairs on end.

But those days are no more. Some say they have "better things to do", or others spout the classic "I no longer have time for that anymore", though is that really true? I myself feel like I have merely grown tired of the routine; a routine with scarce rewards.

However, despite learning things that work towards my best livelihood, I can't help but feel that I've lost a precious treasure. What's worse is I can't even clearly remember what this treasure was. I pull up a picture in my mind, but it is blurred. Why has my mind censored off this part of me? What did my first 4 Leaf Clever look like?

Despite how much I would give to have it in it's original form, all I can do is hope to retrace what's left. Tattered and torn, it would still be something to hold onto and maybe reforge into something new and possibly better.

I suppose slowly but surely I must come to grasp that a 4 Leaf Clever itself is a living entity, and will not last forever. The original only lasts for so long, and after it starts to wilt, you can piece it together only so many times.

It is not something I can merely find and hold onto. It requires nourishment, and needs a place to grow. And if I lose my 4 Leaf Clever, I should rest assured that there must be another one sprouting anew somewhere out there.

In fact, I think I may have just found one right now...

Textbook Narcissism

Narcissists don't wear glasses, they wear mirrors.

Narcissists believe that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually their reflection, which is why they are drawn to it.

If there is a mirror in your room when you give birth to a narcissist, you've automatically had twins.

It's impossible to commit identity theft on a narcissist, because they only carry photo ID credit cards.

A narcissist's 4-number PIN is easy to guess because it will always be the largest number, 9999.

Einstein's theory of relativity does not apply to narcissists because a narcissist does not acknowledge the fact that they can be compared to something.

In a narcissist's vocabulary, the word "absolute" is redundant because it is assumed.

In a narcissist's vocabulary, the word "best" does not exist because it is assumed.

Narcissists are natural romantics because they will always talk about your I's.

A narcissists speech impediment is not a lisp, it's an echo.

The word imperfect is actually "I'm perfect".

Narcissist artists can only draw self-portraits.

Narcissists treat everyone equally because everyone is equally not as perfect as the narcissist.

Narcissists are incapable of discrimination because there are only two categories from a narcissist's point of view: himself and everybody else.

A narcissist does not "lose". You were "allowed to win".

Narcissists are very understanding people, because if they are not, the commoners will revolt.

A narcissist will never believe what you have to say to him unless you convince him that he is right.

Narcissists are never caught "off-guard". They are caught "pretending not to know".

--To be continued...

Friendship Agreement

Friendship Agreement

This agreement is made as of the 29th day of March, 2009.

Between:

Ninsassin
(the "Individual")

And:

Seventy
(the "Anomaly")

WHEREAS:

A. A bond of friendship will be kept between Individual and Anomaly if and only if the terms listed in this contract are followed.
B. A bond of friendship will be broken, with penalty, if the terms are not properly followed.

This agreement is hereby witness to:

A. The terms - considers the requirements necessary for the Anomaly to remain as a friend of the Individual.

B. Services - considers all actions the Individual expects from the Anomaly.

C. Compensation - considers all returns and payments towards the Anomaly by the Individual if the terms and services of this contract are followed

D. Terms of Cancellation - considers the punishment of each respective party should the contract be violated after approval or before an arbitrary Termination Date.

Section A - Terms

1. The Anomaly must not expand their body mass pass a certain weight threshold.

2. The Anomaly must not expand their body mass such that their physical image is no longer "pretty" (As defined by the Individual).

Section B - Services

1. Anomaly must endure...
a. Excessive compliments.

b. Sexism.

c. Critically impaired judgement.

2. Anomaly must accept...
a. All sincere invitations to play Defense of the Ancients.

Section C - Compensation

In return, the Individual must compensate, by the terms of the contract, to the Anomaly, a value of at least three (3) pieces of currency (as defined in (1) of this section) per game of Defense of the Ancients.

1. Whereas currency is the amount of sacrificial hero deaths.

Section D - Violation

In the event that this contract is breached without prior warning from the Anomaly, accepted by the Individual, the Anomaly is thereby subject to the following fines.

1. The delivery of a personally hand-made Sandwich to the Individual.

a. Whereas a Sandwich is defined as "Bread, Ham, Lettuce, Tomato, Bread", with other optional elements included.

IN ACCORDANCE WITH the Individual and Anomaly having both read through and agreeing with all statements contained within this contract, then this Agreement will have been executed as shown by the signatures of both parties below.



BY: ______________________


Ninsassin


BY: ______________________


Seventy

SCANNER + PEN + PAPER = ???

I have all these tools and resources at work, yet I have failed to use them properly.

Materials:
-Scanner
-Internet
-Computer
-Pen
-Paper
-Being Bored
-Retardation

COMPUTER GEOMETRY

Dear Reader

You are bad.

A is for awful

B is for bad

C is for crazy

D is for dumb

E is for emo

F is for fat

G is for gross

H is for hideous

I is for idiot

J is for jealous

K is for klutz

L is for lazy

M is for mean

N is for naughty

O is for offensive

P is for pathetic

Q is for queer

R is for retarded

S is for selfish

T is for terrible

U is for ugly

V is for vain

W is for weird

X is for xenophobic

Y is for yucky

Z is for zero good things about you.

Article 15

Section I - Applicable to situations in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards a certain affinity.

Part A
On the premises in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards negativity.

1. I will cheer you up.
2. I will listen.
3. I will try to give feedback.
4. I will try to offer a solution.
5. I will let you cry on my shoulder if need be.

Part B
On the premises in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards positivity.

1. I will be happy with you.
2. I will be happy for you.
3. I will do all that I can to keep you happy.

Section II - Amendments or Violations

Part A
Conditions of amending the already existing contract between client and lover.

1. Argue.
i. If the argument tilts in the client favor, the lover must make a compromise based on his or her discretion during the time of the situation.
ii. If the argument tilts in the lover's favor, the client must make a compromise based on his or her discretion during the time of the situation.
iii. If there is no solution reached during the duration of the argument, refer to Article 17, Section 5, Part C.

2. One party decides to step down.
i. In such a case, the party who has not stepped down is allowed to dictate the details of the amendment.

Part B
1. Any violation made to the contract will receive a proper fine and punishment according to the other party.
2. Any appeals made for violations must refer to Article 15, Section II, Part A, 1.

Section III - Terms of compensation.
Part A
1. Both parties must remain loyal to each other, as well as the terms of the contract.
2. Each contractor shall love the one signed to his or her paired contract.
3. Extra rewards may be given at each client's own discretion only if the situation warrants such an action.

If you love me, and have read and agree to the terms above, please sign below.

Client's Name __________________

Client's Signature __________________

Date __________________

Love,

Contractor's Name __________________

Contractor's Signature __________________

Date __________________