Friendship Agreement

Friendship Agreement

This agreement is made as of the 29th day of March, 2009.

Between:

Ninsassin
(the "Individual")

And:

Seventy
(the "Anomaly")

WHEREAS:

A. A bond of friendship will be kept between Individual and Anomaly if and only if the terms listed in this contract are followed.
B. A bond of friendship will be broken, with penalty, if the terms are not properly followed.

This agreement is hereby witness to:

A. The terms - considers the requirements necessary for the Anomaly to remain as a friend of the Individual.

B. Services - considers all actions the Individual expects from the Anomaly.

C. Compensation - considers all returns and payments towards the Anomaly by the Individual if the terms and services of this contract are followed

D. Terms of Cancellation - considers the punishment of each respective party should the contract be violated after approval or before an arbitrary Termination Date.

Section A - Terms

1. The Anomaly must not expand their body mass pass a certain weight threshold.

2. The Anomaly must not expand their body mass such that their physical image is no longer "pretty" (As defined by the Individual).

Section B - Services

1. Anomaly must endure...
a. Excessive compliments.

b. Sexism.

c. Critically impaired judgement.

2. Anomaly must accept...
a. All sincere invitations to play Defense of the Ancients.

Section C - Compensation

In return, the Individual must compensate, by the terms of the contract, to the Anomaly, a value of at least three (3) pieces of currency (as defined in (1) of this section) per game of Defense of the Ancients.

1. Whereas currency is the amount of sacrificial hero deaths.

Section D - Violation

In the event that this contract is breached without prior warning from the Anomaly, accepted by the Individual, the Anomaly is thereby subject to the following fines.

1. The delivery of a personally hand-made Sandwich to the Individual.

a. Whereas a Sandwich is defined as "Bread, Ham, Lettuce, Tomato, Bread", with other optional elements included.

IN ACCORDANCE WITH the Individual and Anomaly having both read through and agreeing with all statements contained within this contract, then this Agreement will have been executed as shown by the signatures of both parties below.



BY: ______________________


Ninsassin


BY: ______________________


Seventy

SCANNER + PEN + PAPER = ???

I have all these tools and resources at work, yet I have failed to use them properly.

Materials:
-Scanner
-Internet
-Computer
-Pen
-Paper
-Being Bored
-Retardation

COMPUTER GEOMETRY

Dear Reader

You are bad.

A is for awful

B is for bad

C is for crazy

D is for dumb

E is for emo

F is for fat

G is for gross

H is for hideous

I is for idiot

J is for jealous

K is for klutz

L is for lazy

M is for mean

N is for naughty

O is for offensive

P is for pathetic

Q is for queer

R is for retarded

S is for selfish

T is for terrible

U is for ugly

V is for vain

W is for weird

X is for xenophobic

Y is for yucky

Z is for zero good things about you.

Article 15

Section I - Applicable to situations in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards a certain affinity.

Part A
On the premises in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards negativity.

1. I will cheer you up.
2. I will listen.
3. I will try to give feedback.
4. I will try to offer a solution.
5. I will let you cry on my shoulder if need be.

Part B
On the premises in which your emotional state is imbalanced and tilted towards positivity.

1. I will be happy with you.
2. I will be happy for you.
3. I will do all that I can to keep you happy.

Section II - Amendments or Violations

Part A
Conditions of amending the already existing contract between client and lover.

1. Argue.
i. If the argument tilts in the client favor, the lover must make a compromise based on his or her discretion during the time of the situation.
ii. If the argument tilts in the lover's favor, the client must make a compromise based on his or her discretion during the time of the situation.
iii. If there is no solution reached during the duration of the argument, refer to Article 17, Section 5, Part C.

2. One party decides to step down.
i. In such a case, the party who has not stepped down is allowed to dictate the details of the amendment.

Part B
1. Any violation made to the contract will receive a proper fine and punishment according to the other party.
2. Any appeals made for violations must refer to Article 15, Section II, Part A, 1.

Section III - Terms of compensation.
Part A
1. Both parties must remain loyal to each other, as well as the terms of the contract.
2. Each contractor shall love the one signed to his or her paired contract.
3. Extra rewards may be given at each client's own discretion only if the situation warrants such an action.

If you love me, and have read and agree to the terms above, please sign below.

Client's Name __________________

Client's Signature __________________

Date __________________

Love,

Contractor's Name __________________

Contractor's Signature __________________

Date __________________

So...I herd U liek 2 werk

Been working for about 4 weeks now. Nonstop.

It's really draining.

So I thought I would write a little something to see if I still had it in me to write something to test if I still had it in me to write something funny.

*High Five*!

Guess not.

So with a bit of this money I've decided to start playing World of Warcraft...

And I also notice that many of you stopped reading right there.

And now you think I'm going to say "No! It's not like you think!"

But yes, it is as you think. I am playing World of Warcraft.

S0 li3k i th1nk i am soooooo000oooo kool.

Anyways if anyone still reads this, I will be surprised. So surprised that I'll be surprised.

My brain is absolutely exhausted.

Bye.

Studying is EPIC.

So I've spent the past 3 days studying physics.

I've been studying Electromagnetism and Vectors.

In fact, I've

Drawn enough Free Body Diagrams to traverse the world's great seas.

-Imagine being Neo in the Matrix but instead of seeing everything in binary, you see everything in Free Body Diagrams!

Conquered alphas, betas, and gammas as Alexander the Great did the world.

-It would make me king of Greek letters.

Moved tiny electrons as if I were a slave building the Egyptian Pyramids.

-I wish I had some pulleys.

Punched so many numbers on my calculator it would make Muhammad Ali proud.

-*Cue Eye of the Tiger as you envision someone punching numbers on a Casio calculator in rapid succession*

Used so many pieces of pencil graphite that if I just scrunched up all the Carbon, I could probably have a pretty big diamond by now.

-Imagine just scribbling all over a paper, scrunching it up and POW, you get a diamond. Alchemy at its greatest.

Exhausted so much paper that I'm expecting treehuggers to bang on my door any minute.

-Solution: Switch to composite paper.

Practiced my flips (of book pages) so much that I could be an Olympic gymnast.

-Best way to just "learn by the books".

Drank so much energy that I could have formed a black hole in my stomach.

-I think black holes in your stomach are called ulcers...

Wasted so much time on DotA.

-Waste.

Kittens.

So I saw this as I was browsing and thought I should share.


It's clearly the truth. Kittens are all-powerful in this world.